Stoke City 1 Liverpool 1

January 16, 2010 Leave a Comment

After Wednesday’s humiliating defeat to Reading, and with Gerrard, Torres and Benayoun out injured, would any of Liverpool’s squad be able to step up and show a bit of commitment?  One things for certain, if you’re playing away at Stoke then you’re definitely going to need to be committed.

It was something of a change of formation for the Reds, with Aurelio and Degen playing as ‘wingers’ and Ngog and Kuyt up front.  Lucas and Mascherano started in the centre of midfield, Carragher was at right-back and there was a rare start for Kyrgiakos in the centre of defence.

Stoke made a good start and really got into the Liverpool player’s faces.  The Reds struggled to string two passes together, initally, but gradually grew into the game, without looking overly convincing.

Rory Delap went off injured after 23 minutes, which could only be a relief to Liverpool’s fragile defence.

On 24 minutes, Lucas was scythed down in the penalty box – he was given a yellow card for diving.  A ridiculous decision.  Stoke lost a second player through injury a minute later, as Abdoulaye Faye left the pitch.

The first half ended goalless.  It was a spirited performance from Liverpool even if the quality of play and goals were lacking.

The second half started as the first ended.  Liverpool were finally able to take the lead on 56 minutes when the Stoke goalie flapped at a low free-kick from Aurelio and Kyrgiakos was able to bundle it in.

On 77 minutes, new signing, Maxi Rodriguez, came on for Degen, to make his debut.   He didn’t get chance to show us what he could do as Stoke pinned the Reds back for the remainder of the match.  This pressure finally paid off when they got an equaliser on 89 minutes.  I don’t even know who scored as I was too depressed to notice.

On 95 minutes, Aurelio whipped in a excellent cross and Kuyt headed it onto the post.  He should have scored.  It ended 1-1.

I should probably tidy this post up a little and try and do a bit of analysis, but I really can’t be bothered.

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Liverpool 1 Arsenal 2

December 13, 2009 3 Comments

It seems ages since I last watched a Liverpool match properly, so I decided to sit back and enjoy it, this afternoon.  As events transpired, there was no enjoyment whatsoever.

The Reds played well in the first half.  There were some grumblings, beforehand, that Aquilani didn’t start, but Mascherano and Lucas showed why they were picked as they completely bossed the midfield.  It was also a huge relief to see Gerrard and Torres reunited, and they looked dangerous whenever they linked up.  You couldn’t fault the whole team’s energetic performance and Arsenal weren’t given a kick.

The deadlock was broken on 40 minutes when Dirk Kuyt slotted home, after Almunia fumbled a free kick.  Liverpool thoroughly deserved the lead, but the big question was if they could they keep it going in the second half.  You can never discount Arsenal, as they can create a chance out of nothing, and surely they couldn’t be as bad as they were in the first half.

Well, inevitably, things didn’t go the same in the second half.  An own goal from Johnson and a wonder strike from Arshavin were enough to seal all three points for the Gunners.  It was a complete turnaround from Liverpool, and any confidence completely drained from the players, following the equaliser.  They seemed totally lacking of ideas and I don’t think that they had a shot in the second period.

Is there a solution to Liverpool’s woes?  I don’t really see one.  Under other circumstances, I might be asking for a change of manager.  But, who would they bring in to replace Benitez?  Given the current squad and the financial restraints, what could another manager do differently?  It seems like a problem without an answer.

Oh well, Christmas is a time for miracles, so fingers crossed.

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John Bishop @ The Parr Hall, Warrington – 8th December 2009

December 9, 2009 1 Comment

The show, unexpectedly, started with a video clip featuring Alan Hansen, Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher and Kenny Dalglish, so I was never going to actively dislike fellow Red, John Bishop.

The first half of the gig featured some off the cuff stand up, which he later said tended to change every night.  As he was brought up in Runcorn, he was able to use his local knowledge to get some good laughs.  The first thing that he did was to confront, head on, his making fun of Warrington on Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow.  You have to admire anyone who uses their big national TV break to slag off a town that most people in the country won’t have heard of.  It paid off though, Bishop revealed that this gig had been his fastest selling on the tour.   I guess that it’s nice to be recognised, even if you are being teased.

Because of its fairly ad hoc nature, the first hour was amusing rather than hilarious, but he really moved up a gear in the second half, as he performed his Edinburgh show, Elvis Has Left The Building.  The material was much tighter, and, as a result, was much funnier.  This bore out in the audience’s reaction; it was titters before the interval and guffaws afterwards.  The show was themed around Elvis and living your dream, but these were illustrated through his family life, appearing on Skins, and playing in the Hillsborough Memorial match.  The climax of the show might be ruined a bit if you’re a dyed-in-the-wool Evertonian or Manc, but I loved it.

John Bishop will be returning to the Parr Hall in March – I guess the Warringtonians must love to be slagged off.  He was honest enough to say that we shouldn’t come back, as the second half would be the same, but if you didn’t go to see him last night, then I recommend that do.

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Stuff I Watched: 27th Nov – 1st Dec 2009

December 2, 2009 9 Comments

This instalment of Stuff I Watched was an absolute ball-breaker to write.  I don’t know why exactly.  I also don’t quite know why I’m telling you.

Comedy Showcase: The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret: Channel 4 (Recorded 27th Nov Watched 27th Nov)

This was probably my most eagerly anticipated programme of the year.  How could an Arrested Development fan not be excited at the thought of David Cross making his on Channel 4 sitcom pilot?  Especially when you learn that Will Arnett will also be making an appearance.  Part of me wanted to watch just because I couldn’t quite believe that they’d both be in a UK-based sitcom.  Anyway, it was directed by Anthony & Joe Russo, who directed Arrested Development, and co-starred Spike Jonze, Sharon Horgan and Russell Tovey.  It had an awful lot to live up to.

Almost inevitably, it fell a little flat, but it was still very good.  The plot centred around the eponymous Todd Margaret (Cross), who accidentally gets promoted following a misunderstanding and is transferred to the UK.  His life then goes rapidly downhill following a series of increasingly poor decisions.  It was probably a little light on laughs, but there were some great moments, such as Margaret getting off his face on energy drinks and berating all the customers in a cafe.  It felt like they had created a complete world for the series to live in, so it would be a shame if we didn’t get to see how they’d develop it in to a full series.

Comedy Showcase: PhoneShop: Channel 4 (R 13th Nov W 29th Nov)

This pilot has already been picked up for a full series, and it’s easy to see why – it’s hilarious.  Apparently Ricky Gervais was the script editor and you can certainly see his influence/why he was chosen (I don’t quite know what the script editor does).  Unsurprisingly, it’s about the goings on in a mobile phone shop, and this episode followed a new sales person’s first day in the job.  It doesn’t sound promising, but then, a day in the life of a Slough paper merchants doesn’t sound that exciting either.  My favourite lines came from a montage of the sales team in action: ’I think if Jade was still with us, this is the phone she would have chosen.’ and ‘Let’s talk about what insurance package that Jay Z might have with this phone.’

I’m looking forward to the full series.

I’ve Loved You So Long: SkyPremiere (R 15th Nov W 1st Dec)

A French drama about a woman (Kristin Scott Thomas) who returns to her family after 15 years in prison and struggles to adapt.  It all sounds a little dull, but the French are masters at making movies where nothing happens and yet they’re totally compelling anyway.

The best part of the film was Scott Thomas’s performance.  She’s one of those actors who I know, but don’t really have an opinion on. That has certainly all changed as she was completely mesmerising throughout.  Her pain was really quite palpable.   There was a scene where she comes face to face with her mother for the first time, since leaving prison, that was particularly heartbreaking.

If I was nit-picking, you could say that it was a little long.  If they had lost 20 minutes, it would have felt a lot leaner.  It’s highly recommended, though.

Modern Family: Sky One (R 29th Nov W 1st Dec)

I gave up on this series about five minutes in to the second episode but, since it’s had so many positive reviews, and this episode in particular had an especially ringing endorsement from unpopcult, I thought I’d give it another go.  By the way, it was the episode with Fizbo the clown.

Sadly, I didn’t like it.  I was tempted just not to write about it; I don’t like it when people feel the need to slag off something that isn’t their cup of tea, just to get some sad sense of superiority.  I thought I’d comment though because I didn’t laugh once and it’s just so strange how senses of humour can be so different.  I only ever read positive reviews of the series and I really feel like I’m being cheated out of something.  You can never have too much good comedy in your life.

We Need Answers: BBC4 (R 1st Dec W 1st Dec)

It was a welcome return for the extremely silly quiz with 3, yes 3, presenters (Mark Watson, Tim Key and Alex Horne).  It had a 3 episode ’try-out’ earlier in the year and now it’s back for a full 13-part series.  I read something describing the show as a mix between Shooting Stars and QI – which doesn’t seem very accurate, but I can’t think of anything better.  It’s not going to change your life but it’s a fun way to spend half an hour.  And how can you not like a show that has more presenters than contestants?

This weeks theme was: ‘Women (and Steven Gerrard)’.

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Liverpool 2 Manchester City 2

November 21, 2009 2 Comments

I’m sure that there used to be a time when I looked forward to watching Liverpool’s matches – but that seems like a distant memory now.  Anyway, the good news was that Steven Gerrard was back in the starting line up.  The bad news is that Fernando Torres was still missing.  Some might argue that, since Manchester City are the team most likely to push Liverpool for a top-four finish, this was a crunch game.  Given the Reds recent run of form, I’d say that every game is a crunch game.  I wish I was only being hyperbolic about it.

In the opening few minutes, Liverpool looked quite bright, but the game was disrupted by a head injury to Daniel Agger, who had to go off.  A few minutes later Ryan Babel went off with an injury, despite the efforts of Gerrard to get him to run it off, and the Reds had suffered two enforced changes in the first 20 minutes.  The first half never recovered from the two disruptions, despite Liverpool dominating the possession.

The opening minutes of the second half continued to be a dour affair until Martin Skrtel turned in a free kick, on 49 minutes, to score his first ever Liverpool goal.  Sadly, this only seemed to spark City in to life and they inevitably equalised, on 68 minutes, through an Adebayor header.  It was a dismal goal to concede from the Reds point of view; the former Arsenal striker was completely unmarked at a corner – it was worse than schoolboy defending.

Things went from bad to worse when City took the lead with a goal from a possibly offside Stephen Ireland, on 75 minutes.  To be fair, it was an excellent move and good goal.  Just as I was about to hold my head in my hands, Liverpool went straight down the other end and equalised – a sloppy goal scored by Benayoun.  Despite some late pressure from the home side, it ended 2-2.

Another desperately disappointing day for Liverpool.  I feel like I’ll never see them win ever again.  I was going to write a bit more, but the will has left me.

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Liverpool 2 Birmingham City 2

November 10, 2009 Leave a Comment

At least it wasn’t a loss?

I promised myself that I was going to be a ‘bad fan’ tonight and avoid the match at all costs.  But, with the kick-off rapidly approaching, I found myself looking for an internet stream.   Sadly, I easily found one.

The first half sums up Liverpool’s season in a nutshell – they completely outplayed Birmingham but, inexplicably, came in behind.  Ngog scored first (13 minutes), for the Reds, and everything was looking good.   Then I lost the stream for a few minutes and when I got it back the score was 1-1 (Benitez, 26 minutes).  Brilliant.  Liverpool then battered Birmingham until the 47th minute of the half when Cameron Jerome lashed in a long range effort to put the Blues ahead.  How very depressing.

The second half continued the Liverpool barrage, but it was only with a dodgy penalty in the 70th minute that they were able to draw level.  Ngog made a great run in to the box but then went down with no contact made on him, and a penalty was incorrectly given.  Gerrard stepped up and coolly slotted it home.  It’s worth noting that Gerrard started the game on the bench and came on, for an injured Riera, in the first half.  He could be considered half-fit, at best.

It was all Liverpool for the next 20 minutes but a winner looked increasingly unlikely and the match finished 2-2.

I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel about the match.  It was a game completely dominated by the Reds, but in the end we were only able to scrape a draw by means of a dive and a wrongly given penalty.  On 76 minutes, the TV coverage gave the incredible statistic of the number of completed passes for each team: Birmingham 92 – Liverpool 421.  This can often be misleading as a team can have lots of possession but not look dangerous, but Liverpool had plenty of good attacking play.  To be honest, I feel a bit baffled.

Where do Liverpool go from here?  I’m honestly not sure.

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Liverpool 2 Manchester United 0

October 25, 2009 4 Comments

Thank god for that.

I’ve complained that I’ve been nervous before every game this season, so I don’t really need to tell you how I was feeling before this one.  Last night, I had a dream in which Rafa had picked a completely new starting 11 from the reserves, and knowing Mr Benitez, there was always a remote chance that this might happen.  Luckily it didn’t, and the return of Torres and Johnson made up slightly for the loss of Gerrard.

I’m not going to be able to give you a blow-by-blow account of the game, not because I didn’t watch it, but because I was far too nervous.  Suffice to say, it was all as frantic as you would imagine.  The first half ended goalless and fairly evenly, with Liverpool possibly having the better chances.  The Manchester United players remonstrated with the referee on the stroke of half time as they felt that some decisions hadn’t gone their way.  No further comment necessary.

Things really heated up in the second half and the breakthrough for Liverpool came on 64 minutes; an exquisite through ball from Yossi Benayoun was threaded to Torres who smashed it home.  From that point on, I felt totally sick with nerves.

United managed to create some pressure towards the end of the match and Jamie Carragher could have been sent off for a professional foul on Michael Owen.  It wasn’t entirely clear cut as Owen was headed away from goal and there were other players present, but you wouldn’t have been shocked if he has received a red card instead of yellow.  A few minutes later, Vidic received a second yellow card for bringing down a quickly breaking Kuyt, and, incredibly, it was the third league game in a row against Liverpool in which he’s been dismissed.  Mascherano also saw red after a second booking for a sliding tackle on Van Der Sar.  The game was settled five and a half minutes in to injury time when Kuyt and Lucas broke and slid Ngog in for a good goal.

I feel like I’ve just gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson, so I’m not going to make any in depth judgements about what this result meant.  The main thing, other than the result, was that the team put in a performance and every man played his part.

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Sunderland 1 Liverpool 0

October 17, 2009 4 Comments

I was only thinking last week how much I was enjoying the international break. Not because I have any interest in international football (I don’t), but because it gave me a couple of weeks in which I didn’t have to worry about Liverpool’s (mis)fortunes. So it was with a heavy heart that I approached today’s match against Sunderland.

The pre-match build up was all about the absence of Gerrard and Torres, but these weren’t the only significant changes to the line up. Mascherano only started on the bench, which meant a first Premier League start for Jay Spearing. Daniel Agger made his first appearance of the season and promptly found himself in an unfamiliar three-at-the-back formation. All in all, the omens were not good.

I listened to the first half on the radio, and the play was clearly all Sunderland’s, so it wasn’t a surprise when they took the lead after 5 minutes, with a goal from Darren Bent. What was surprising was that the goal came from a seemingly impossible deflection off a balloon. Yes, a balloon. I’ve not seen it, and rest assured I will do my very best to never see it, so I can’t really explain how it happened. It does somehow seem metaphorically very fitting with what is happening to the Reds’ season.

I vowed not to listen to any of the second half and to just read my book instead, but I, of course, couldn’t stay away completely. Every time I flicked the radio on Liverpool seemed no closer to equalising and Sunderland had quite a few more chances. Liverpool couldn’t even take advantage of a ridiculous seven minutes of injury time to scrape a lucky draw.

I honestly don’t know where Liverpool’s season goes from here, but even the most optimistic part of me now concedes that any chance of winning the league has gone. Just remember, it’s only a game.

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Liverpool 6 Hull City 1

September 26, 2009 7 Comments

Another Saturday 3pm kick off for Liverpool, another battle with internet streams for me.  There is some improvement over last week when I couldn’t watch any of the West Ham match.  This week I just have to suffer really patchy coverage.  I spent the hour or so leading up to kick making sure I had as many options to watch as possible and come three o’clock I was watching a rock solid stream.  Which lasted for 3 minutes.  I managed to get another stream going until 8 minutes in, and then that packed in too.  Another frustrating afternoon was on the cards.

When I got the stream back, around 14 minutes in, I had missed Liverpool’s opener, and I didn’t know who had scored (Torres, of course).  I then promptly lost the stream again and desperately spent my time getting one back.  After a gap of more than five minutes, I switch on the TV to get an update from Soccer Saturday.  Hull have now equalised, a goal by Geovanni on 15 minutes.  To make matters worse, Paul Merson is doing the game summarising.  Merson is a Liverpool anti-fan.

Miraculously, I got the stream back on 25 minutes and so was able to see Torres’ second goal, two minutes later.  Fernando showed great control as he took the ball around a defender and then round the goalie before casually slotting the ball home (I did think he was going to cock it up for a minute).  30 seconds after the goal and the stream went again.  After that, the stream was intermittant until half time; one minute on, 3 minutes off.

It was a relief to get to half time without wanting to put my head in the oven, but it still wasn’t great.  At least they were winning.

Torres made it 3-1 a few minutes after the break, I didn’t see it, but I was happy.  Missed the first 15 minutes of the half and then got the stream back working.  Amazingly, this was just in time to see Steven Gerrard make the score 4-1, with a cross-shot from near the touchline.  Actually, as it’s Gerrard, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say it was a shot.

Torres was replaced on 67 minutes by Ryan Babel; he wouldn’t have wanted to come off, but it’s best to keep him fresh for Fiorentina on Tuesday.  Gerrard also got subbed on 73 minutes for Mascherano, who seems to have fallen from favour.  The stream has been quite reliable at this point and the Reds have been in total control of the match, although, that’s easy when you have a three goal cushion.

Typically, as soon as I type that the stream freezes.  I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.  Technically, I should have kept my fingers idle, since I typed it.

Quite incredibly, the coverage returns just seconds before Ryan Babel scores a good striker’s goal on 88 minutes.  I think I’ll be watching Match of the Day tonight!  A couple of minutes later, an Albert Riera shot deflects wickedly off Babel and loops over the goalie, it made the final score 6-1 and sealed a cracking win for the Reds.

It would be nice to be able to write all my match reports on games that I had actually seen, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.  After being on the Liverpool season ticket waiting list for 10 years, I’ve still got another 10 years to go (barring them suddenly building the new stadium), so I guess that the internet streams are better than nothing.  It has to be said though, you wouldn’t persist with such sporadic coverage for anything other than football.

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West Ham 2 Liverpool 3

September 19, 2009 3 Comments

This is yet another strange match report and is as much a description of my attempts to watch the match as it is about the match itself.  With no ESPN, I’d be relying on internet streams and, as I decided to start typing this while the match was in progress, you’ll have to forgive me if I get the tense wrong from time to time.

Twenty minutes in to the match, I missed Torres’ opener.  I was struggling to get a working stream despite trying a recommendation from a mate which was working fine for him.  On the plus side, I also missed the stress of West Ham hitting the post early in the match.   I was still relatively calm at this point as at least things were going to plan.   Then, just to annoy me, my laptop started making a plonking noise while it tried to connect to a stream.  Fortunately, it didn’t last long.  Unfortunately, the stream didn’t connect either, and West Ham equalised from a penalty, scored by Alessandro Diamanti, on 29 minutes.  I don’t know what was making me angrier at this point, the fact that they conceded a goal or that I couldn’t watch them concede it.

Liverpool re-took the lead on 41 minutes with a goal from Kuyt, turning in a Gerrard header.  At least that’s what Sky Sports News said, I still couldn’t see the game.  Then, just to make the first half utterly miserable, Carlton Cole made it 2-2 on 45 minutes.  It was a struggle not to smash my laptop to bits and go to bed in a huff.

Still struggling during half time, I thought I’d have a quick look at what was going on in some internet forums.  Jamie Carragher was getting a shocking amount of abuse, and, while he might be having a few off games as he gets older, some people have very short memories.

By quarter to seven I’d given up on the streams and decided to listen to it on Five Live.  Listening on the radio keeps you up to date with the facts, but it’s hard to get a feeling for the game.  From what I could tell, it was a fairly balanced match at that point.

In an unusual move, Kuyt came off, on the hour, to be replaced by Ryan Babel, presumably to add a bit of pace to the attack.  It’s not very often that Dirk is substituted and it’s less often that Babel plays well.

Having been lulled close to sleep by the relaxing commentary, I barely realised that Torres had scored on 75 minutes.  Could the Reds do enough to stay in front this time?  The answer was almost immediately no, as Cole forced a save from Reina straight from the kick off.

Something shocking happens on 84 minutes when a pundit talked sense.  Mark Bright said that ANY team would struggle if they lost their best two players.  This is something that people with brains have been saying for years, but many pundits believe it only applies to Liverpool.

Then, before I knew it, the match was over and Liverpool had picked up the win.  From what I could tell, West Ham were excellent in the first half but faded a little in the second.  From a Liverpool point of view, it’s another three points in the bag.  Now I just need to watch the highlights later to see if anything that I have written makes sense.

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