Come Dine With Me at Breakfast

August 21, 2009 4 Comments

Thanks to a combination of Channel 4′s afternoon repeats and the magic of Sky Plus, I’ve started watching Come Dine With Me,every day, while I eat my breakfast. It’s worryingly addictive.

For anyone who has been living under a rock, the format is simple: four (or five) contestants take turns hosting dinner parties and they mark each other out of ten. At the end of the week, the winner takes home £1000.

It seems the perfect reality TV format: cookery mixed with people trying their best to impress. It also manages to avoid the twin pitfalls of this kind of show; annoying wannabes and clueless idiots being exploited. It gives the contestants just enough rope to hang themselves, should they choose to do so. It’s topped off by a sarcastic, mocking commentary by Dave Lamb, that, shockingly for a day time show, is actually funny.

Channel 4 must know that they’re on to a good thing as it is repeated ad infinitum (and they show it on More4 too). I think it will soon be rivaling Friends as the channel’s most repeated programme.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – The Final

January 23, 2009 1 Comment

It’s the final day of CBB for another year, and as such we’ve compiled two separate poles:

The Order We Think They Will Finish

 

CBB Final Pole - Will Win

 

1. Verne

2. Ben

3. Coolio

4. Ulrika 

5. Terry

 

The Order In Which We’d Like Them To Finish

 

CBB Final Pole - Want to Win

1. Terry

2. Coolio

3. Verne

4. Ulrika

5. Ben

 

We’ll be back after the final to see how our predictions fared.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 22nd Jan

January 23, 2009 Leave a comment

CBB 22nd Jan

Apathy has set in, right before the final. Yesterday’s results were:

1=Terry

1=Coolio

3=Ben

3=Ulrika

5. Verne

It’s all getting very tight, and Verne has plummeted down the rankings. Who will win? You decide. Well, you do if you bother to vote.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 21st Jan

January 21, 2009 Leave a comment

CBB Pole 21st Jan

 

Getting near the end now and my will is fading fast:
1. Terry – Takes advantage of Verne’s slip.
2. Coolio
3. Ben
4. Ulrika
5. Verne – A tremendous fall from grace – and this is with JLS voting too!
6. Tommy
7. La Toya
Getting near the end now and my will is fading fast:
1. Terry – Takes advantage of Verne’s slip.
2. Coolio
3. Ben
4. Ulrika
5. Verne – A tremendous fall from grace – and this is with JLS voting too!
6. Tommy
7. La Toya

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 20th Jan

January 21, 2009 Leave a comment

CBB Pole 20th Jan

 

The ‘pole’ is controversially being published a day late, due in no small part to this controversial letter:
Steven,
I feel in would be inappropriate for me to participate in today’s BB
Pole as I failed to watch last nights show.
It is with deep regret that I did
not fulfil my duty last night. As a result I feel that the only way manner in
which this situation can be rectified is by you solely calculating the scores
for the BB Pole today.
Apologies,
Your esteemed colleague.
JLS
So, as a result, I had to compile the rankings alone, so alone, cold and lonely. And here they are (mainly based on chillie eating):
1. Terry – Terry has been my personal pick since the beginning and it’s JLS’ love of Verne that has kept him from the top spot.
2. Ben – Remained very calm whilst eating chillies.
3. Verne – Eating two chillies must count as more than double for Vernon.
4. Coolio – Only had two chillies.
5. Ulrika – Needs to cheer up.
6. Tommy – Still not recovered from the day he went mental.
7. La Toya – Laughs like her brother. Disturbing.

The ‘pole’ is controversially being published a day late, due in no small part to this controversial letter:

Steven,

I feel in would be inappropriate for me to participate in today’s BB Pole as I failed to watch last nights show.

It is with deep regret that I did not fulfil my duty last night. As a result I feel that the only way manner in

which this situation can be rectified is by you solely calculating the scores for the BB Pole today.

Apologies,

Your esteemed colleague.

JLS

 

So, as a result, I had to compile the rankings alone, so alone, cold and lonely. And here they are (mainly based on the chilli eating task):

1. Terry – Terry has been my personal pick since the beginning and it’s only JLS’ love of Verne that has kept him from the top spot.

2. Ben – Remained very calm whilst eating chillies.

3. Verne – Eating two chillies must count as more than double for Vernon.

4. Coolio – Only had two chillies.

5. Ulrika – Needs to cheer up.

6. Tommy – Still not recovered from the day he went mental.

7. La Toya – Laughs like her brother. Disturbing.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 19th Jan

January 19, 2009 Leave a comment

CBB Pole 19th Jan

 

Sometimes they say that you shouldn’t vote out the annoying contestants because they provide more entertainment. To an extent I agree with the sentiment. In Tina’s case, she had to go, and she thankfully did. Oh, and Mutya skulked out, leaving the pressing question, ‘did she get paid?’.
It’s all change on the leaderboard after a busy weekend:
1. Coolio – He’s sprung to the top spot from nowhere, and he probably provide most value.
2. Terry – Steady Eddy, well, Steady Terry.
3=Verne – Has slipped down the rankings as I still try to come to terms with his drunken antics.
3=Michelle – Does she like Ben?
3=Ben – Does he like Michelle?
6. Ulrika – Quite low because she whacked Terry.
7. La Toya – I’ve nothing against her, she just isn’t really involved.
8. Tommy – Went a bit mental last night.
There’s an eviction tonight, so will it be Tommy to go? We’ll see you tomorrow.

Sometimes, they say that you shouldn’t vote out the annoying contestants because they provide more entertainment. To an extent, I agree with the sentiment, but In Tina’s case, she just had to go.  And, thankfully, she did go. Oh, and Mutya skulked out, leaving the pressing question: did she get paid?


It’s all change on the leaderboard after a busy weekend:

1. Coolio - He’s sprung to the top spot from nowhere, but he probably provides most value for money.

2. Terry – Steady Eddy.  Well, Steady Terry.

3=Verne – Has slipped down the rankings, as I still try to come to terms with his drunken antics.

3=Michelle – Does she like Ben?

3=Ben – Does he like Michelle?

6. Ulrika – Quite low because she whacked Terry.

7. La Toya - I’ve nothing against her, she just isn’t really involved.

8. Tommy – Went a bit mental last night.

There’s an eviction tonight, will it be Tommy who goes? We’ll see you tomorrow.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 16th Jan

January 16, 2009 Leave a comment

CBB Pole 16th Jan

 

Oh it’s eviction night and the feeling’s right. For Tina to be booted out.
1) Verne – Back on top, mainly for jumping off some boxes in to Michelle’s arms.
2) Coolio – He’s the only contestant with a cookery book.
3) Terry – The manc slips.
4) Ben – Moves up a couple of places due to his hiding under a duvet.
5) Michelle – A non-mover, despite catching Verne.
6) Mutya – Up two places for a sterling performance on the giant piano.
7=Ulrika – Crys over children.
7=Tommy – Slips four places for pretending to sleep through Carwash.
9) La Toya – Not unpleasant, just a bit too anonymous.
10) Tina – How can she simultaneously believe the following facts about her chances of beating 80,000 hits for her ballet challenge? A) “I’m not going to lose, no way, I’m on fucking Channel 4″ and B) “I told you we’d lose, I just said we’d only get about 30, 40 thousand hits”. They can’t both be right love.

Oh it’s eviction night and the feeling’s right… for Tina to be booted out.

1) Verne – Back on top, mainly for jumping off some boxes in to Michelle’s arms.

2) Coolio – He’s the only contestant with his own cookery book.

3) Terry – The Manc slips.

4) Ben – Moves up a couple of places due to his hiding under a duvet.

5) Michelle – A non-mover, despite catching Verne.

6) Mutya – Up two places for a sterling performance on the giant piano.

7=Ulrika – Cries over children.

7=Tommy – Slips four places for pretending to sleep through Car Wash.

9) La Toya – Not unpleasant, just a bit too anonymous.

10) Tina – How can she simultaneously believe the following facts about her chances of beating 80,000 hits for her ballet challenge? A): “I’m not going to lose, no way, I’m on fucking Channel 4″ , and B): “I told you we’d lose, I just said we’d only get about 30, 40 thousand hits”.  They can’t both be right love.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 15th Jan

January 15, 2009 Leave a comment

CBB 15th Jan

 

It’s all change today, as we approach eviction night:
1=Verne – Still top because he had a race on his shopmobility scooter.
1=Terry – Slowly creeping up to challenge Vernon’s lead.
3. Tommy – A big surge today for Tommy, principally for chasing Verne round dressed as a racing car. Oh, and for not being totally anonymous.
4. Coolio – Gone up a place for showing us his caring side.
5. Michelle – Down a place for too much whinging.
6. Ben – Was he even on last night’s show? Oh yeah, the unscary dinosaur.
7. Ulrika – Making a late surge to avoid relegation.. I mean, eviction.
8. Mutya – Dropped 5 places for being a big sulk. Is she trying to get evicted?
9. La Toya – Might as well be a ghost.
10. Tina – Vile.

It’s all change today, as we approach eviction night:

1=Verne – Still top because he had a race on his shopmobility scooter.

1=Terry – Slowly creeping up to challenge Vernon’s lead.

3. Tommy – A big surge today for Tommy, principally for chasing Verne round dressed as a racing car. Oh, and for not being totally anonymous.

4. Coolio – Gone up a place for showing us his caring side.

5. Michelle – Down a place for too much whinging.

6. Ben – Was he even on last night’s show? Oh yeah, the unscary dinosaur.

7. Ulrika – Making a late surge to avoid relegation.. I mean, eviction.

8. Mutya – Dropped 5 places for being a big sulk. Is she trying to get evicted?

9. La Toya – Might as well be a ghost.

10. Tina – Vile.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 14th Jan

January 14, 2009 Leave a comment

CBB Pole 14th Jan

What a shocker! How on earth did Coolio not get nominated? Is he a genius of manipulation as the Daily Star claim, or was it just dumb luck? You decide.

Two of the people nominated (Tina & Ulrika) were in our bottom four yesterday, giving us a 50% success rate at predicting the nominations. As for predicting who will be evicted, JLS wants Tina to go and thinks she will too; I want Tina to go but think it will be Michelle that leaves.

Today’s ‘pole’ is as follows:

 

1. Verne – Mainly here because JLS thinks he is cute.
2. Terry
3. Mutya
4. Michelle – The top four stay the same despite heavy duty whinging by Michelle & Mutya.
5 = La Toya
5=Coolio – I can’t quite decide if I really like him or can’t stand him – and so he is ranked exactly in the middle.
5=Tommy – Today’s big mover going from 9th to 5th – I suspect purely ‘cos he hasn’t moaned too much.
8. Ulrika – Apparently she thinks she is better than everyone else.
9. Ben – Ben is surprisingly low for someone so inoffensive, but perhaps that’s his problem.
10. Tina – She has to go.

1. Verne – Mainly here because JLS thinks he is cute.

2. Terry

3. Mutya

4. Michelle – The top four stay the same despite heavy duty whinging by Michelle & Mutya.

5 = La Toya

5=Coolio – I can’t quite decide if I really like him or can’t stand him – and so he is ranked exactly in the middle.

5=Tommy – Today’s big mover going from 9th to 5th – I suspect purely ‘cos he hasn’t moaned too much.

8. Ulrika – Apparently she thinks she is better than everyone else.

9. Ben – Ben is surprisingly low for someone so inoffensive, but perhaps that’s his problem.

10. Tina – She has to go.

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The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole – 13th Jan

January 13, 2009 2 Comments

CBB Pole 13th Jan

 

 

After being thoroughly disgusted with the Daily Star’s ranking of the CBB housemates, ie. Tina wasn’t bottom, my esteemed colleague, Mr Joseph “JLS” Waugh, and myself have compiled our own, correct version (see attached photo).  We both independently voted and combined these to provide the definite countdown of who to like and who to despise.  The official ‘pole’ is thus:

1.  Verne

2. Terry

3. Mutya

4. Michelle

5. La Toya

6. Coolio

7 = Ulrika

7 = Ben

9. Tommy

10.  Tina

Come back tomorrow to see how things have dramatically changed.. or possibly be exactly the same.

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