Hi!

My name is Terry Towelling and I’m reet sexy.

Warning

This milk has been following me home at night. It’s proper freaky.  Do NOT make eye contact.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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No.

Sorry.

Every ounce of creativity has been stolen from my soul.

Sometimes, I just don’t have anything to offer.

Q.  How can anyone in their right minds like Yorkshire Tea?

A.  They can’t.

In fairness, the Yorkshire Tea wasn’t quite as bad as I had anticipated.   It doesn’t seem to taste of soil any more.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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2 Unlimited rule OK 4EVA

I literally can’t believe this is happening to me.

This label perfectly sums up my feelings on returning to work after the Yuletide Winter Festival period.  I’m sure you feel the same.  And, if you don’t feel the same then I actually hate you.

All the best!

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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The first rule of Donut Club is….buy some donuts.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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Did anybody watch Come Dine With Me last week? Keith Preddie is my new hero.  This Michael Jackson\Tina Turner impersonating legend should be Prime Minister.  Shamoan!

I should have posted this photo when it was taken last week as it’s technically out of date, but I had to do it anyway in tribute to one of Come Dine With Me’s best ever contestants.  Never has a man burped then said Shamoan so frequently.  Like so:

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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Dear Diary

Today, I am in work. It’s rubbish. Can we go on holiday, please? Oh Diary, you’re such a terrible lover.

I don’t know what the hell this is about today. I couldn’t think of anything to write. Sometimes, it’s as simple as that.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

Come on, guys, let’s talk, or “rap”, about all “da issuez” that are affecting you and your “homeys”, yeah? Peace out.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

Barry took a left turn.  He imemdiately realised that he had made a mistake.  He had driven down Kriss Akabusi Avenue and that’s where Maureen lived.  Why didn’t he buy her that copy of “Take a Break”? Oh, it was too late now.  He was alone.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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Doctor Alban is a lovely, lovely man.  I literally can’t speak more highly of him…even if I was on top of Mount Everest.  Do you get it? LOLZ!

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

Bernard took another sip of his frothy coffee.  He was instantaneously transported back to April 13th 1908, and that fateful night that he accidentally killed Audrey’s gecko.  She had never forgiven him.  Bernard sighed.  Bernard wept.

Sometimes I embellish the milk bottle with a work of literature.  Today is one such day.  I truly spoil you.  Consider yourself spoiled.  You truly are the victim of a spoiling.  You are the spoilee.  I am the spoiler.  Spoil, spoil, spoil…

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.