The final of the finals is finally here. May God have mercy on our souls.
Saturday
Running Time (including the Xtra Factor): 180 minutes
Time I watched it in: 77 minutes
X Factor Ratio: 42.8%
Before I started writing this\watching the show, I remembered that someone was going to be leaving, so I thought I better make a prediction. I thought that Olly would (and should) be the first to be eliminated. Look how that turned out.
Unlike previous series, I don’t really care which of the acts win this series. I would have slightly preferred to have Stacey win, but I have to admit that Joe deserves it.
Each of the contestants performed three songs, the opener was the song that they sang at their first audition.
Stacey – What a Wonderful World – Stacey looked really nice here, although they had her precariously perched on a stool in a very short dress. Again. My upskirt conspiracy theory rumbled on to the very end. The song really suited her voice and it was a pleasant, if slightly boring, performance. The nerves showed a little in her vocals, but that’s hardly surprising under the circumstances.
The judges comments were predictably bland.
Olly – Superstition – I didn’t really mind the singing too much (apart from the fact that he couldn’t say ‘suffer’), but the dancing was as irritating as ever. I’m fully aware of how my dislike for Olly is completely irrational.
Nothing worthy of comment from the judges, again.
Joe – Dance with my Father – I didn’t know the song and guessed the title from the lyrics. It was another good performance from Joe, but it was very musical theatre.
I’ve given up on the judges – they’ve got no incentive to say anything nasty when it’s the final. How boring.
The next set of songs were the not-so-secret duets. I don’t know why the judges were being so coy about who was performing as it had been announced everywhere – including the info button on Sky.
Stacey – Feeling Good (with Michael Buble) – Mickey Bubbles singing was really weird and, as a result, it was like they weren’t performing together. Does he usually sing like that and is this why he is so popular? I found it baffling. Anyway, Stacey looked pretty sexy in her shiny dress. She also sang really well, maybe her best yet. Mickey didn’t seem convinced that Stacey could win, he could have at least have pretended.
Olly – Angels (with Robbie) – I hate this song and if there was any lingering doubt on who might be the ‘mystery’ guest, then it didn’t last long. Olly was pretty awful and Robbie actually cocked up his own song by coming in before he should. Robbie looked like he was going to start crying and the whole thing felt incredibly awkward.
Joe – Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me (with George Michael) – Joe was excellent. Although they looked like father and son, it was definitely the best duet, both vocally and in terms of performance. At the end, George had that big star ‘I don’t quite know what’s going on’ vibe. He also said that it must be nerve wracking to meet ‘people like him’.
The last round was the contestants ‘best song’ from the series.
Stacey – Who Wants to Live Forever – Whatever you think of Stacey, you have to admit that they’ve certainly made the most out of her legs over the series. Although I like her voice, her performances are just too tentative for her to be a pop star.
How can Simon make the phrase “you smashed it” sound so unenthusiastic?
Olly – Fool in Love – I’m not even sure that I can remember him singing this before and I don’t have a clue what it is. He’s not awful but I didn’t really like it. I don’t know what he could actually do to impress me.
Joe – Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word – Well, I have to admit it, Joe deserves to win the competition. He was excellent, again.
So that was it, all that was left was to announce who’d be going home. Tragedy struck as Olly was announced safe. I felt a little bit angry and sad inside. It was down to Joe and Stacey, and clearly Joe wasn’t going home. Poor Stacey. Oh well, it actually makes tomorrow interesting for me, as I’m now desperate that Joe wins. Stacey was incredibly gracious in defeat, which makes me wish she stayed in even more.
The only thing worth mentioning on The Xtra Factor was when Simon asked a pensioner caller what she was wearing and what she had on under her dressing gown. It was quite revolting., but very funny.
Sunday
Running Time: 180 minutes
Time I watched it in: 54 minutes
X Factor Ratio: 30%
I really couldn’t be bothered watching this, but it would be a strange time to quit. Despite saying yesterday that I really wanted Joe to beat Olly, I couldn’t actually be bothered.
There was some god-awful group song from all the finalists. I fast forwarded through it.
Olly – Twist & Shout – Annoying. That’s all I have.
Joe – Don’t Stop Believin’ – Yeah, it was alright.
I think I shocked even myself with just how uninterested I was. You’ll be glad to know that I bravely soldiered on.
JLS did a duet with Alexandra Burke. Then they wheeled out Leona Lewis. Were they just trying to prove how bad that this year’s contestants have been in comparison to past winners?
They then performed ‘the winner’s single’. Did I recklessly fast-forward or did Simon forget to tell us what it was called? The chorus uses the phrase “the climb” so I googled it – apparently it’s a Miley Cyrus song. It’s quite insipid, but what you’d expect.
Olly – Not great. He’s not actually that bad, vocally, I just don’t ‘get it’.
Joe – I preferred this to Olly’s version, mainly because Joe is a more natural singer. It really felt effortless compared to Olly.
How many times have we had to listen to Cheryl saying how much she’s glad to have met Joe?
I fast forwarded through George Michael, but thought I’d listen to a bit of Paul ‘Macca’ McCartney. Then all the finalists joined him on stage to sing ‘Drive my Car’. Deary me. I didn’t want to watch but I couldn’t look away. Macca saved it by doing ‘Live and Let Die’ – a mentalist classic.
I can’t believe how long they dragged out revealing the winner. I fast forwarded for ages and it still didn’t come. Eventually the right decision was made and Joe won. I can’t quite believe that I think it was the right decision.
Over on The Xtra Factor Holly reveals the predictions that the judges and presenters made at boot camp, about who the final winner would be.
Dermot – Olly
Holly – Olly
Louis – Olly
Dannii – Nicole (didn’t even get through the the live shows)
Cheryl – Olly + Miss Frank (Louis demanded his rule book because she picked two acts)
Simon – Olly
They also revealed who got the most votes in each of the live shows – it makes for quite interesting reading:
Week 1 – Danyl
Week 2 – Stacey
Week 3 – Rachel
Week 4 – Danyl
Week 5 – Danyl
Week 6 – Stacey
Week 7 – Joe
Week 8 – Joe
Week 9 – Joe
Week 10 – Joe
Joe clearly had it sewn up by the last few weeks, but it’s interesting to see that Stacey and Danyl won so many weeks.
In Conclusion
You can probably tell, by how rushed Sunday’s write up is, just how fed up with it I’d become by the end. I can’t even be bothered making any final conclusions. See you all next year for some more X Factor fun.
Total Duration: 360 minutes
Total time I spent watching it: 131 minutes
Overall X Factor Ratio: 36.4%
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