Bobby’s Onion Rings Controversy

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about Bobby or any of his delicious snacks.  Far too long.  In my quest for all things Bobby, I had a quick google yesterday and came across this startling Youtube clip about Bobby’s Onion Rings.

Who is this Bobby loving maverick? This video was posted almost 4 years ago, so how is it only coming to light now?  Is it related to the infamous “Snaxgate” debacle?  His claims that the extra 6 pence generated by Bobby’s generous price-cuts will cut through the material in his cheap Asda jeans seems frivolous at best.  Isn’t he taking Bobby and his snacks seriously?? And why claim that Bobby’s helpers won’t respond to his e-mails when they are clearly the most kind, wonderful people in Christendom? It all smells a bit fishy to me.  And I don’t mean the delicious smell given off by Bobby’s Prawn Cocktail Spirals.

If anyone can shed any light on the origins of this video then I’d be eternally grateful.

 

 

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Lady Popular

 

So, I was just having a browse around the Google Chrome Web Store, as you do, looking for games.  I happened across the intriguingly titled “Lady Popular”, which is “a fun free online fashion game for girls”.  Sure, I’m not exactly the target demographic, but I thought I’d investigate further.  The game’s official description says:

Every girl dreams to become a smart, talented and successful woman.

Well, I’m not, and never have been, a girl, but this seems a fairly reasonable statement.  But how is it going to help you achieve your dreams?

You will have your own virtual Lady, take care of her everyday needs, educate her and make sure she will do a fantastic career. You can fully customise her look– different make-up, hair styles, skin colour and thousands of fashionable clothes.

Changing your skin colour is the only way you can become a successful woman.  In addition, you can play mini-games, such as The Disco, where you can:

dance, party, have fun, flirt and get a boyfriend

Hey, if you can’t get a boyfriend, ladies, then consider yourself a loser.  But, that’s not all you can do in Lady Popular.  Other features allow you to:

run in the park, get a pet, find a job, have a medical examination, visit the bank, or go to your apartment and just have a nap!

Fantastic! Get your legs in those virtual stirrups, girls, and have yourself a simulated medical exam.  But, hey, this is just the official blurb and those guys are biased, right?  Well, here are some excerpts from user reviews:

  • This a fun game for girls but I would recommend it to older girls (13+) because there are a few things like boyfriends, plastic surgery, flirting and ‘sexy underwear’ which might influence them in the wrong way.
  • You can pay for this game by buying diamonds which is one of the currencies. (There are 2 currencies – dollars and diamonds) This is called a PREMIUM account, and you get, apparently, better deals etc. I don’t know if it is as great as it sounds, as I am not a premium member.
  • For the Breast surgery, it says ‘Make sure you check if you want to do breast surgery because you may not want the results you will see. It also cost an awful lot.’
  • If you want to be anything other than white, you have to go to the Solarium and get a tan, which makes no sense. Last I checked, non whites are not whites with a tan =/
  • this game is identical to lady bimbo, the exact same. i didn’t find lady bimbo all that much fun, and i don’t find this all that much fun. if u don’t believe me go search lady bimbo up and u will see, IDENTICAL.
Remarkable.
Hey, don’t take my word for it.  You can play Lady Popular yourself, if you click here.

#Snaxgate – Mini Update 2

Yesterday, I reported that google lied about the results of a “snaxgate” search.  Well, I’ve tried again today – see above – and you can see that it’s now showing the correct results.  Is this a coincidence?  Clearly not.

The Illuminati have tinkered with Google so as not to appear suspicious.  It’s the only explanation.

Am I the only person to believe that the News Of The Word phone hacking scandal has happened merely to distract the public from the true outrage that’s happening to Bobby’s Snacks?  I won’t rest until the truth is out there.

 

 

#Snaxgate – Mini Update

I had hoped to take a break from Snaxgate today; the burden of being the only media outlet covering this epic story is really starting to take its toll. However, I cannot stay quiet when new evidence comes to light.

Earlier today, I googled “snaxgate” and this is what I discovered:

20110718-200508.jpg

Hmmmm, very suspicious. I’m clearly searching for Snaxgate, and yet Google chooses not to show me those results and instead displays results for the clearly fictitious “saxgate”. Why would they do this?

They wouldn’t. The Illuminati would.

When are the government going to intervene in this matter?

Poor Bobby.

How Did You Get Here?

Francis Rossi on stage with Quo at the Colston...

Image via Wikipedia

One of the great features of having a WordPress blog is that it tells you what people searched for in order to end up on your site.  I’m going to take a look at some of my favourite search terms from over the years.  They’re very intriguing.

francis rossi traitor:

Post this search leads toFrancis Rossi – Traitor?

What’s the post about – The confusion and hurt felt by the members of the PTC (Pony Tail Club) when Mr Rossi snipped his PT off.

Reason why I like it – Because someone searched for Francis Rossi being a traitor.  It’s quite funny, isn’t it?

cheeky chappy shaun costello:

Post this search leads to - Wall of Wonder

What’s the post about - A photo of all the stuff I had stuck on the wall next to my desk in work.  This is accompanied by a key explaining what all the items are.

Reason why I like it - I love this post because it’s a reminder of the wonderful wall I had and all the hilarious things that I stuck on it.  It’s one of my favourite posts of all time.  Also, I love the fact that someone actually searched for the phrase “cheeky chappy shaun costello” as it’s so unlikely.  To be honest, it’s so unlikely that it was probably me that searched for it and I’ve forgotten.

chilli & cranberry hair gel:

Post this search leads to - Blumen’ Marvellous

What’s the post about - An incredibly clever satire on a Heston Blumenthal type meal as created by infamous Warringtonian Goot “Goot The Crow” The Crow.

Reason why I like it - I made up chilli & cranberry hair gel as a wacky non-existent product, and yet someone wants to use it for real.

100 good reasons why to pour stuff on somebody:

Post this search leads to - ?

What’s the post about - I think it just leads to my home page or something.

Reason why I like it - Why is this person looking for reasons to pour stuff on somebody? Why are they so vague about what it is that they want to pour down somebody?  It’s all a little bit sinister.  Are they trying to justify a fetish to a partner?  Why do they need 100 reasons? Wouldn’t a few be sufficient? I’m very intrigued.

the pompidou centre – functionalist dreamscape or postmodern eyesore?:

Post this search leads to - n\a

What’s the post about - I think it was something I said on Twitter, which temporarily shows up on my blog.

Reason why I like it - It’s a quote from Paul Calf’s Video Diary.  I’m in no way taking credit for it.  It’s just one of my favourite programmes ever and it’s nice to be associated with it, even in the loosest and most plagiaristic of ways.

lady sovereign extra teeth:

Post this search leads to - Home page

What’s the post about - Weirdly, if you search for this phrase in google, my home page is the first result. Since I haven’t mentioned Lady Sovereign since she appeared in Celebrity Big Brother I don’t understand how this can be.  Also, if you search for the phrase within the blog, then it returns no results. Weird.

Reason why I like it - Haha, she’s got extra teeth, innit?

“i love chips”:

Post this search leads to - MBM – Chips

What’s the post about - It’s a milk bottle with a label on it which reads: “I love chips.”

Reason why I like it - I just really, really love chips.  It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

“gravy loving fundamentalists”:

Post this search leads to - Holy Gravy?

What’s the post about - When I transferred PSGOM from Blogger to WordPress, the redirection didn’t work properly and you ended up on some weird Bible site.

Reason why I like it - Who could fail to be charmed by the idea of a group of religious zealots who just love gravy?

in the world war 1 did people pour gravy down their legs?:

Post this search leads to -?

What’s the post about - ?

Reason why I like it - Well, it’s easy to understand where this question was coming from.  For the record (if you’re the person who asked this question), during World War 2 there were shortages of stockings, so women would rub gravy browning on their legs to give the appearance of hosiery.  What they didn’t do was get a gravy boat, full of the delicious brown stuff, and pour it wholesale all over themselves.  You’re an inadvertent pervert.

The Gravy Boat 24: Still Here

Oh yes, it’s a new episode of The Gravy Boat!  Don’t get too excited, it’s just me waffling on for a bit.  Have a listen, though, you might like it.

You can listen to it on iTunes, here:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=340803894

Or, if you prefer, you can just listen to it here:

http://thegravyboat.podbean.com/2011/06/16/the-gravy-boat-24-still-here/

Or, if like me, you have got rid of your iPhone and have realised how great Google Reader\Listen is, the RSS feed is:

http://thegravyboat.podbean.com/feed/

What the Whuffie?

A while ago, I was narcissistically searching google for Sherby57, when I stumbled across this page - http://thewhuffiebank.org/sherby57.  Seeing as it wasn’t something that I’d ever signed up to, I was both intrigued and slightly disturbed.

It turns out that The Whuffie Bank is a non-profit organisation that is attempting to create a new, online currency, which is based on how people interact on social networks (well, that’s what their web-site say they do).  You have a online “salary” that is calculated using some algorithm which looks at who and how you interact with others.

It seems that in order to get the idea going, the Whuffmeisters (my description) trawled Twitter and auto-generated data on what prospective members would “earn”.  Sadly, they hadn’t singled me out because of my excellence as a twitterer (although, you can follow me, here, because I am excellent).

It’s an interesting concept.   You can “pay” other tweeters from you current funds and so it’s a nice way to reward people you like.  Of course, they can’t actually do anything with their whuffies other than donate them to other people that they like, or hoard them, but you never know how it could develop were the idea to take off.  The best part about it is that it provides some incentive for you to interact with others in a positive way.

Despite being intrigued, I didn’t join.  I didn’t know who these people were and part of me was a but dubious.  I think the concept of them being a “bank” is enough to set the alarm bells ringing for any seasoned internet user – even though they’re not actually asking for any real financial details.

Anyway, after being subjected to Liverpool’s terrible euro-bore draw last Wednesday, I decided to join in an attempt to spice up my evening (you can see how desperate I was).  And not a lot has actually happened.  I’m not convinced that it actually works.  I’ve attempted to donate my whuffies, but I still have all of them.  My salary is currently 49 whuffies\month but my balance is 25W.  This doesn’t even take into account that I’d, ahem, donated 70W to myself from my other Twitter accounts.  These show up as transactions, but I don’t have the extra W.  Your account also shows a list of your recent retweets and the times you’ve been retweeted and this is hideously out of date.

As I mentioned, I did attempt to give my precious 25W away – to a random tweeter who last used the hashtag “whuffiebank”.  I felt that just trying to horde your W completely defeats the object of getting involved.  Otherwise you’ll just have lots of Tweeters with a few W and no interaction whatsoever.  I don’t know how the algorithms that determine your salary actually work, but it needs to be clear that it goes up the more you give away, otherwise nobody will ever have an incentive for doing so.

Unsurprisingly, the highest earners on from the Whuffe Bank are celebrities.  Top of the list is Rev Run with an incredible 1.6million W\month.  This helps highlight one of the interesting aspects of Twitter.  The experience of anybody with a public profile is completely different to those of us that don’t.  Celebrity tweeters tend to have a high number of followers (usually in the 1000s), but follow only a handful.  Obviously, those with many followers should have a large online repuation, but you have to factor in that this is largely built on a non-online presence.  Often they will do relatively little in terms of positive interaction.  For a “normal” twitterer, who retweets lots of people with low reputations, aren’t you paying something back to the community through “hard-work”?  Shouldn’t that be rewarded too?  Or will the Whuffie Bank just be exactly the same as the real world financial system?

I should point out that I don’t actually know how it’s actually calculated, so they may have taken these points into account.

In conclusion: it’s an interesting idea that deserves development, but it doesn’t currently work functionally, or, possibly, conceptually.   To their credit, they have actually replied to my tweets and assure me that they are imminently going to do a big re-launch and re-vamp the technology behind it all. Fingers crossed that it is a big improvement.

On a final note, the Whuffie Bank’s own Twitter account only only earns 57 W\month, which is refreshingly honest (check it here:  http://thewhuffiebank.org/whuffiebank ).  At least their hearts are in the right place.

Would I Survive No Internet for a Whole Month?

Old computers

Obviously, I’d survive.

We’ve not evolved into a new species yet, in which we are somehow fed via wifi and excrete our waste products through a USB cable. If only that were the case. No, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I would still be alive if I were forced to go for 30 days without internet access.

That’s not to say that I’d like it, though. It’s frightening how quickly we’ve become dependent on the ‘net. Can anybody remember the days when you couldn’t settle any disagreement by instantly googling it on your phone? No, neither can I. Having to live without the internet would feel like being a Victorian gentleman forced to go and live in the stone age. Absolutely beastly.

Ok, it wouldn’t really be that bad, but it wouldn’t make a very good blog post if I just said “it would be alright but a bit annoying”, would it?

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Google Me

News just in: Pour Some Gravy On Me is now showing up in Google.

Ok, it’s not really news, and actually is so uninteresting that my eyes are bleeding at the thought of carrying on.  At this rate, it won’t be long before I’m writing about some paint that I saw drying (although that story is actually quite a good one).  

The reason I mention it at all is simple – my posts never used to show up in Google when the blog was over on Blogger.  I’m kind of curious as to why that was, as every hit counts when you get as few as I do, and you’re not going to get many hits if you’re not searchable.  

My favourite search so far is: gravy loving fundamentalists.

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