The X Factor: Judges’ Houses

Well we’re getting very close to the live shows on The X Factor, this week sees us visit the judges’ houses (which are obviously not their real houses, so I don’t know why they call it that).  Here’s what happened.

Saturday

Saturday’s episode starts with perhaps the biggest shock in X Factor; Louis was in Italy not in Ireland!  I needed a lie down to cope when I found that out.  We then meet who each judge has drafted in to help them.  Louis had Ronan Keating, the Irish Gary Barlow, so it looks like the two of them are finally talking again.  Cheryl had Will young who is so posh and sincere that I could listen to him all night.  Sadly, Simon had Sinitta helping him yet again.  I can only assume that she must have some incriminating photos of him.  Over in Dubai, Dannii has the somewhat more impressive Kylie to help her.

I was a little underwhelmed by the ‘Boys’ category, although they seem pretty solid throughout and with young male singers, their looks play as big a part as their voices.  I was slightly baffled by Daniel Fox, but I wouldn’t be shocked if any of them got through.

The ‘Groups’ category is notoriously rubbish, and this year is no exception.  Ronan and Louis seemed to criticise every single act after they sang, and didn’t have a good thing to say.  You’d have to say that that was quite worrying for Louis’ chances of winning.  I don’t think it actually matters to the outcome of the show which three  acts they pick.  Unsurprisingly, Louis still managed to find time to defend John and Edward.  More surprisingly, and despite slagging all the acts off, they still audaciously claimed that they have a potential  winner.

Simon seems to have the most difficult job in selecting which of the ‘Over 25s’ will go through, the category looks to be very strong.  It’s actually a bit of a joke when you compare this group to what Louis has to work with.  The most disappointing moment of the week was when Danyl sadly didn’t reprise his hilarious cover of ‘Holding Back the Years’.

The ‘Girls’ category is definitely stronger vocally than the boys, and they certainly look better in bikinis (was it not a bit gratuitous that they sent them down a water slide?).  I’m not sure which ones are the best singers, but I definitely fancy Stacey McClean most.

I realise that at this point that I haven’t picked any of the contestants to go through; it just seems too tight to call this year and I’d struggle to single anybody out.  I also realised, as I was watching it, that the episode seemed endless; this was because, unusually, I actually watched most of it.

Have I mentioned this week that The Xtra Factor is the better programme?  I’ve come to the conclusion that I big part of the reason for this is that you actually get to see the personalities of both contestants and judges; you don’t just get sob stories and cheesy soundbites as you do with the ITV1 show.  It also doesn’t hurt that Holly is almost unbearably lovely.

Sunday

I was a bit apprehensive about watching this episode beforehand as it tends to be full of people crying and I find it totally unbearable.  To be fair to them, it’s not surprising that they cry considering the way that they drag out the reveal as to whether they’re going through or not.  It’s bordering on animal cruelty.

The ‘Girls’ were the first group to be revealed, and Lucie Jones was the first contestant through through.  She has that girl next door type appeal, so she could do pretty well.  Sadly, Stacey McClean didn’t get through. Typical.  Next through was Rachel, who I could tell you exactly nothing about.  The last girl through was the other Stacey; I though that this was a good decision as has distinctive voice and a likeable, goofy personality.

The dreaded ‘Groups’ were up next and I couldn’t have cared less, other than the vague hope that John and Edward would get through for comedy value.  First through were Miss Frank, who, if I was being cruel, I might rename as Miss Take.  Next through were Kandy Rain, the girl band consisting of ex-strippers.  They should be popular with the largely female voters then.  Last, but by no means least, came The Twerps, sorry I mean, John and Edward.  This pair of idiots were somehow the most nailed-on finalists in the whole competition.  I won’t pass comment on Louis’ possible motivations for this.  That said, you can always rely on Louis for a mental decision to keep the show interesting.

The slightly lacklustre ‘Boys’ were next and first through was Weirdy Eyebrow Man (Rikki), quickly followed by Lloyd, whose voice I probably like most in this group.  Before the third finalist was revealed, we had a bit of drama with Cheryl having to stop in the middle of her decision over Daniel Fox.  I’d like to think that her dilemma was genuine and not done to build up the tension.  Since I fancy her, I’ll assume that it was genuine.  Last through was the totally unsurprising, Little Geordie Joe.  It seems to be the rule that you put through people who are from vaguely the same geographical area as you.

Finally, we got to the ‘Over 25s’, and early bookies favourite, Danyl goes through.  They’ve been slightly critical of him since boot camp, but I think this was mainly to not make him seem like the dead cert to go through that he was.  Next through was slightly quirky Olly and finally came Jamie.  I was a little bit surprised by Jamie, not because of a lack of talent, but because I thought Simon would put through at least one of the girls.  They still look the strongest category.

And that’s nearly it for this week, apart from The Xtra Factor.  Have I mentioned that The Xtra Factor is…oh, I have.  Well, what  about Holly…oh, I’ve done that one too.  Never mind.  The most interesting thing was that Holly also thought that Simon would put at least one girl through, proving that great minds think alike.

And that really is that.  I’m actually looking forward to next week, as the live finals really separate the men from the boys (so to speak).  See you there (not literally).