A blog that isn't about gravy or Def Leppard.
December 1, 2011 Leave a Comment
Wikimo: When in the office, it is to express one’s desire for a brew, whilst signalling that it is not your turn to make said brew.
The word is derived from the acronym “W.I.K.I.M.O.” – “Well, I know I’ve made one…”
CAUTION: This word should not be used by people who have to be bullied into make a brew, even if they have actually just made one (e.g. Goot).
November 24, 2011 6 Comments
Team Extreme’s very own JLS found this KRAZY packet whilst on holiday in the U.S. of America:
He he. It tastes of penis. Foreigners really do eat the funniest things.
July 14, 2011 Leave a Comment
A crisis has hit Team Extreme. Our illustrious leader, POB, has left for fresh pastures. Although we mourn his absence, we can but rejoice at news of his solo adventures…behold!
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Are you new to Team Extreme and are unsure of all the different characters? You can check out the fact files for the gang, here:
POB, Hitchers, JLS and Goot: here
Eed, Webbo, Theo, Cozzy and Big Poppa P (avec beard): here
Hot Toddy, Mr Norris and Andre: here
You can buy a Team Extreme t-shirt, here.
You can read all the Team Extreme Posts by clicking here.
July 9, 2011 Leave a Comment
Team Extreme fans rejoice! A new Team Extreme spin-off comic is about to hit the shops…get ready for The Adventures of Eed:
Can you believe that this is happening? No, me neither.
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Are you new to Team Extreme and are unsure of all the different characters? You can check out the fact files for the gang, here:
POB, Hitchers, JLS and Goot: here
Eed, Webbo, Theo, Cozzy and Big Poppa P (avec beard): here
Hot Toddy, Mr Norris and Andre: here
You can buy a Team Extreme t-shirt, here.
You can read all the Team Extreme Posts by clicking here.
March 23, 2011 Leave a Comment
It’s been a while since we’ve heard from those crazy guys at Team Extreme. There have been many upheavals in the land of T.E. and it’s all been a bit hush-hush. However, I’m delighted to announce the upcoming Pixar-style movie about their exploits. Have a look at the clip above for evidence of just how awesome it’s going to be.
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Are you new to Team Extreme and are unsure of all the different characters? You can check out the fact files for the gang, here:
POB, Hitchers, JLS and Goot: here
Eed, Webbo, Theo, Cozzy and Big Poppa P (avec beard): here
Hot Toddy, Mr Norris and Andre: here
You can buy a Team Extreme t-shirt, here.
You can read all the Team Extreme Posts by clicking here.
July 20, 2010 2 Comments
It’s been over a month since the last installment of Team Extreme. Like a fine wine, you simply can’t rush these things. You also have to give the chaps chance to have adventures in order for me to write about them. I know you all love T.E., but you’re going to to have to learn to be more patient.
Team Extreme hurtled along the motorway in a fully-loaded Extremobile. Along with the usual stash of Uzi 9mm’s and phased plasma rifles (in the 40w range), there were buckets, spades and deckchairs. Young JLS had even brought along a picnic including some delicious cakes made by his lovely girlfriend. Eed insisted that he didn’t want a cake because he’d had a big breakfast. Big Poppa P wasn’t so sure. He felt that Eed was looking extremely gaunt. It was all very worrying. Yes, Team Extreme were heading for the seaside.
It wasn’t just a pleasant day trip for our dashing heroes. No, the team were investigating the alleged ghost that Cozzy had spotted in their Anglesey HQ\caravan. They had hoped to bring along distinguished scouse medium Derek Acroah to help out, but this wasn’t possible for fear of legal ramifications. Instead, they had drafted in local Welsh psychic (and POB’s cousin), Taffy “Spooky” O’Baffy.
Upon arrival at the secure location\camp-site, the team disembarked from their magnificent vehicular vehicle. Goot immediately looked to establish a wifi connection, hoping to get a line-of-sight connection to T.E.H.Q. back in Warrington. He was very optimistic when it came to these things. JLS and Webbo started unpacking the picnic and deck chairs. Sure, they had a ghost to catch, but this didn’t mean that they couldn’t try and get a tan too. POB met up with Spooky, and the old comrades embraced. The familial resemblance was striking; they both had identical muzzys. Cozzy looked terrified. Seeing the ghost had really freaked him out and he was reluctant to return. He strapped a proton pack to his back (actually a hand-held vacuum cleaner) and inched closer to the caravan. He slowly slid the key into the lock and gently opened the door. Nothing happened.
Big Poppa P, something of a sceptic, marched straight into the caravan and determined that there was no spectral presence and commenced with the festivities of making a brew. Soon afterwards, POB and Spooky entered the tin shack and the medium immediately began convulsing and seemingly received messages from the other side. He claimed that the spirit had once tried to have a massive dump on the chemical toilet and had slipped. The corrosive faeces-melting chemicals instantly dissolved his body. His soul had remained trapped ever since. Big Poppa P pointed out that the caravan had a flushing toilet and so he was clearly lying. Spooky’s face flushed (much like a toilet) and his shame was evident. He admitted that he did it just because he wanted a bit of attention and hoped that somebody would buy him some Crispy Pancakes for helping them talk to dead relatives. It seemed as though things were done and dusted until Cozzy pointed out that he had still seen a ghost! Could it be that there was still a haunting a happening?
No. Big Poppa P simply used his Columboesque skills to see what was really happened. Cozzy had a framed photo of David Hasselhoff on the caravan wall and this had been knocked off onto the kitchen floor. In a drunken stupor, Cozzy had mistaken the Knight Rider star’s face as the manifestation of a man who got melted by a toilet. It was a mistake that anyone could make.
With the business all sorted within 3 minutes, Team Extreme settled down to enjoy their picnic and the sun. Spooky was sent home for being a bit of a dick. It was a wonderful day… until they received some distressing news.
…to be continued.
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Are you new to Team Extreme and are unsure of all the different characters? You can check out the fact files for the gang, here:
POB, Hitchers, JLS and Goot: here
Eed, Webbo, Theo, Cozzy and Big Poppa P (avec beard): here
Hot Toddy, Mr Norris and Andre: here
You can buy a Team Extreme t-shirt, here.
You can read all the Team Extreme Posts by clicking here.
June 11, 2010 2 Comments
If you haven’t yet read episode 1, then please click here. Don’t forget, there are 4 “I *heart* Team Extreme” badges left to be claimed from my personage. Congratulations to Emma for getting the first one.
The atmosphere in the Team Extreme HQ was sticky with anticipation. The nervous energy was palpable, especially from young JLS who didn’t seem to be able to handle the disruption to his usual routine. Big Poppa P kept a watchful eye over his young apprentice, to ensure that he didn’t crumble into gibbering wreck. The arrival of McNulty was playing on all of their minds.
POB supervised as Goot and Webbo carefully hung a “Welcome McNulty!” banner above the fireplace. POB was concerned that they hadn’t taken a copy of the banner, in case anything happened to it.
“You’re only as good as your last backup!” exclaimed the moustachioed leader.
“Actually, you’re only as good as your last verified backup,” retorted Webbo. Nobody present could disagree with the assessment of the situation.
Eed sat and watched from the comfort of the sofa. He was looking painfully thin, bordering on skeletal. He’d managed to avoid any further inquisitions from Big Poppa P about his eating habits. It was all very worrying. Cozzy was on his phone to Derek Acorah, the famous scouse pyschic. He was discussing the possibilty of a ghost invading the Team’s Angelsey retreat. He was worried that the ghost was going to get stuck in his kayak. I won’t go into details of the conversation, but you can only imagine that Team Extreme will go and investigate the ghostly goings on in a subsequent episode, so don’t worry.
The doorbell rang. Everybody froze. This wasn’t particularly conducive to the door being answered, so Big Poppa P pulled himself together and went to see who was there. Could it be the mysterious McNulty?
Yes, it could.
Yes, it was!
McNulty strode into the parlour like a angry lion being forced to watch the Chuckle Brothers. His eyes immediately locked onto the welcome banner that T.E. had taken so long to create. JLS shed a little tear of happiness that their hard work was being appreciated. The happiness wasn’t to last long.
“That banner is blue,” exploded McNulty. ”Everybody knows that banners should be red! You people are pathetic. I can’t believe you had a blue banner. It’s not even hung straight.”
JLS openly wept. This time, his tears were full of sorrow.
“Anyway, I’m outta here,” continued the ranting McNulty. ”I’ve already been seconded to the same mission as Hitchers and Theo. You’re going to need a sub-sub.”
With that, he left the HQ, with the entire team shaken to their very core. What on earth would they do now?
To be continued…
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Are you new to Team Extreme and are unsure of all the different characters? You can check out the fact files for the gang, here:
POB, Hitchers, JLS and Goot: here
Eed, Webbo, Theo, Cozzy and Big Poppa P (avec beard): here
Hot Toddy, Mr Norris and Andre: here
You can buy a Team Extreme t-shirt, here.
You can read all the Team Extreme Posts by clicking here.
June 3, 2010 2 Comments
If you’ve got a problem, and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… TEAM EXTREME. To be fair, we’re quite cheap for what we do. Just make us a brew and give us some biscuits and we’re anybody’s.
Today’s MBM is quite obviously an advert for Team Extreme. We’d just like more people to make us brews.
As a special treat, I now present a guest MBM from Dr. Angel:
“I can’t help loving you, even though you have a squashy face!”
“Maybe you love me because I have a squashy face.”
This is truly a classic of the MBM genre. It’s both funny and touching, a potent combination. I’m particularly impressed by the milk being housed in a Pepsi bottle. It really lends an added poignancy to proceedings. Many thanks to the Doc for her contribution.
This MBM is an example of one of Dr. Angel’s excellent short plays. If you’d like to read more of them, please check out her blog, here.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
June 2, 2010 8 Comments
People are always coming up to me in the street and asking: “Are you out of Team Extreme?”
I obviously am, so it can get quite annoying. To save time, I’ve created a whole batch of badges to be worn by TE when we’re out and about. Now you don’t need to ask, just look at the badge and it will all become clear.
Sadly, these badges are not available to buy in the shops. If you’re that way inclined, you can always go to 50pbadges.com and create your own. They, unsurprisingly, cost 50p each. There are, however, 5 “I *heart* Team Extreme” badges up for grabs. All you have to do to get one is to claim one from me. It will probably be an advantage if you actually know me. Good luck.
May 27, 2010 3 Comments
Due to an overwhelming public demand following last week’s tale, Team Extreme Versus The Nazis, I’m now proud to present the first episode in an ongoing series of Team Extreme Stories. It’s important that these stories are fully interactive with the fans, and with the various members of Team Extreme, so if you have any suggestions on where the stories should go, then please leave a comment. Enjoy:
It was a quiet morning in Team Extreme HQ. This was an “extremely” rare event for our plucky heroes, so they chose to make the most of it by lounging around and drinking tea. After all, they’re only human, no matter what the newspaper reports may say.
Goot had decided to upgrade the firmware in the team’s microwave, as he had read on a forum that it would give it a 3-watt power boost. He was almost giddy with excitement and everybody else stayed out of his way. POB was hard at working preparing a proposal to have an emergency generator attached to the HQ to ensure that the team always had electricity for their arsenal of kettles. Having a brew was essential to running a successful black-ops military unit. It seemed that POB was always planning for additional generators or air conditioning. Indeed, Cozzy claimed that he’d never heard him talk about anything else. Speaking of Cozzy, he was busy reading the manual for the Extremobile – the team’s hi-tech vehicle – as he had recently been accused of driving it incorrectly. The Extremobile’s temporal drive had burnt out and they cost a fortune to replace – time machines don’t come cheap.
Big Poppa P saw Eed sitting alone at the dining table, gingerly nibbling on a carrot stick. He decided that he needed to intervene.
‘Eed, me old china,’ said the Popster, bumping fists with his old compadre. ’I can’t help but notice that you’ve only had two carrot sticks for your dinner for the last two days. Is there something wrong?’
‘No, no,’ protested Eed, somewhat unconvincingly. ’Two carrots sticks is plenty of food for me, they’ve really filled me up.’ Big Poppa P couldn’t hide the disbelief from his eyes.
‘That surely can’t be enough food for a growing lad,’ he said. ’There’s something going on here that I need to get to the bottom of.’
Before the interrogation could continue, young JLS came running into the room.
‘Guys, guys,’ said the young whipper-snapper. ’We all need to gather in the meeting room, quickly. We’re about to receive an important message.’ Big Poppa P could see that the inexperienced recruit almost had tears in his eyes at the enormity of the message. He didn’t want to upset the lad any more than necessary, so he decided that his questions for Eed could wait and they all hurried to the meeting room.
The rest of the team were already there when the trio arrived and they all sat impatiently in front of the Extrematron – the team’s futuristic communication device. In a flash, the screen began to pulsate and they started to receive a transmission from The Elder, the team’s mysterious overlord. Two of the team’s members, Hitchers and Theo, had recently been assigned to a top secret mission that the rest of Team Extreme weren’t privy to. Some of the chaps suspected that Hitchers was finally planning that BBQ he had been promising them for months, but nothing was confirmed. They all anticipated further information from The Elder, and they weren’t disappointed.
‘Team Extreme,’ began the shadowy puppetmaster. ‘Your ranks have recently been depleted, as two of your members have been moved onto a special…project. Well, the world needs Team Extreme for protection and so I’m sending you a replacement. You should expect McNulty within the hour.’ And with that, the transmission abruptly ended.
There were gasps of bewilderment around the room. Who was this enigmatic McNulty and what would his presence mean for Team Extreme?
To be continued…
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Are you new to Team Extreme and are unsure of all the different characters? You can check out the fact files for the gang, here:
POB, Hitchers, JLS and Goot: here
Eed, Webbo, Theo, Cozzy and Big Poppa P (avec beard): here
Hot Toddy, Mr Norris and Andre: here
You can buy a Team Extreme t-shirt, here.
You can read all the Team Extreme Posts by clicking here.
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