MBM – Dear Diary

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Dear Diary

Today, I am in work. It’s rubbish. Can we go on holiday, please? Oh Diary, you’re such a terrible lover.

I don’t know what the hell this is about today. I couldn’t think of anything to write. Sometimes, it’s as simple as that.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

MBM – Come On, Guys

Come on, guys, let’s talk, or “rap”, about all “da issuez” that are affecting you and your “homeys”, yeah? Peace out.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

MBM – Barry’s Left Turn

Barry took a left turn.  He imemdiately realised that he had made a mistake.  He had driven down Kriss Akabusi Avenue and that’s where Maureen lived.  Why didn’t he buy her that copy of “Take a Break”? Oh, it was too late now.  He was alone.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

MBM – Dr Alban

Doctor Alban is a lovely, lovely man.  I literally can’t speak more highly of him…even if I was on top of Mount Everest.  Do you get it? LOLZ!

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

MBM – Bernard

Bernard took another sip of his frothy coffee.  He was instantaneously transported back to April 13th 1908, and that fateful night that he accidentally killed Audrey’s gecko.  She had never forgiven him.  Bernard sighed.  Bernard wept.

Sometimes I embellish the milk bottle with a work of literature.  Today is one such day.  I truly spoil you.  Consider yourself spoiled.  You truly are the victim of a spoiling.  You are the spoilee.  I am the spoiler.  Spoil, spoil, spoil…

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

MBM – Dark Side

Contractor’s milk.  If you use it, beware of the dark side.

Today’s MBM was discovered in the fridge, i.e. it wasn’t done by me.  In today’s climate of riots, looting and general bone-headedness, contractors in the UK are being forced to defend their milk with threatening messages.  It’s a a desperate situation and we must fight back.  Even if we have to use evil Jedi powers.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

 

 

MBM – Magic Potion

This milk contains a magic potion.  Like what that Harry Potter would use to seduce Hermione.  The dirty dog.

We all know what Potter’s up to with that filthy wand of his.  Disgusting.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

MBM – Missing

MISSING

Have you seen this man?

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

MBM – Bobby’s Milk

 

I wish this was Bobby’s Milk

Today’s MBM is a moving tribute to Bobby, founder of Bobby’s Snacks.  If only he made milk. It would be so delicious.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MBM – Milk Pixies

This is the second bottle of milk that we’ve bought in two days.  Could it have been used by milk pixies?

No.

It was you, you thief.

I reported yesterday that we only had a little bottle of milk this week.  It was small, but there were only two of us in, so it should have lasted.  It didn’t.

I don’t want to exaggerate, but milk theft is perhaps the most heinous crime known to man.  This bottle of milk expresses just a fraction of my anger.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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