A blog that isn't about gravy or Def Leppard.
October 24, 2011 Leave a comment
Dear Diary
Today, I am in work. It’s rubbish. Can we go on holiday, please? Oh Diary, you’re such a terrible lover.
I don’t know what the hell this is about today. I couldn’t think of anything to write. Sometimes, it’s as simple as that.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
September 19, 2011 Leave a comment
Come on, guys, let’s talk, or “rap”, about all “da issuez” that are affecting you and your “homeys”, yeah? Peace out.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
September 14, 2011 Leave a comment
Barry took a left turn. He imemdiately realised that he had made a mistake. He had driven down Kriss Akabusi Avenue and that’s where Maureen lived. Why didn’t he buy her that copy of “Take a Break”? Oh, it was too late now. He was alone.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
September 9, 2011 Leave a comment
Doctor Alban is a lovely, lovely man. I literally can’t speak more highly of him…even if I was on top of Mount Everest. Do you get it? LOLZ!
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
August 31, 2011 4 Comments
Bernard took another sip of his frothy coffee. He was instantaneously transported back to April 13th 1908, and that fateful night that he accidentally killed Audrey’s gecko. She had never forgiven him. Bernard sighed. Bernard wept.
Sometimes I embellish the milk bottle with a work of literature. Today is one such day. I truly spoil you. Consider yourself spoiled. You truly are the victim of a spoiling. You are the spoilee. I am the spoiler. Spoil, spoil, spoil…
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
August 10, 2011 3 Comments
Contractor’s milk. If you use it, beware of the dark side.
Today’s MBM was discovered in the fridge, i.e. it wasn’t done by me. In today’s climate of riots, looting and general bone-headedness, contractors in the UK are being forced to defend their milk with threatening messages. It’s a a desperate situation and we must fight back. Even if we have to use evil Jedi powers.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
August 1, 2011 2 Comments
This milk contains a magic potion. Like what that Harry Potter would use to seduce Hermione. The dirty dog.
We all know what Potter’s up to with that filthy wand of his. Disgusting.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
July 10, 2011 Leave a comment
MISSING
Have you seen this man?
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
July 1, 2011 Leave a comment
I wish this was Bobby’s Milk
Today’s MBM is a moving tribute to Bobby, founder of Bobby’s Snacks. If only he made milk. It would be so delicious.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
June 4, 2011 Leave a comment
This is the second bottle of milk that we’ve bought in two days. Could it have been used by milk pixies?
No.
It was you, you thief.
I reported yesterday that we only had a little bottle of milk this week. It was small, but there were only two of us in, so it should have lasted. It didn’t.
I don’t want to exaggerate, but milk theft is perhaps the most heinous crime known to man. This bottle of milk expresses just a fraction of my anger.
If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.
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