MBM – Terry Towelling and Stalker Milk

Hi!

My name is Terry Towelling and I’m reet sexy.

 

Warning

This milk has been following me home at night. It’s proper freaky.  Do NOT make eye contact.

 

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

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MBM – Sorry & Yorkshire Tea

It’s another MBM double, you lucky, lucky idiots…

No.

Sorry.

Every ounce of creativity has been stolen from my soul.

Sometimes, I just don’t have anything to offer.

Q.  How can anyone in their right minds like Yorkshire Tea?

A.  They can’t.

In fairness, the Yorkshire Tea wasn’t quite as bad as I had anticipated.   It doesn’t seem to taste of soil any more.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

MBM – New Year Double

To usher in the new year, I proudly bring you two – yes, two! – milk bottle labels.  Enjoy…

2 Unlimited rule OK 4EVA

I literally can’t believe this is happening to me.

This label perfectly sums up my feelings on returning to work after the Yuletide Winter Festival period.  I’m sure you feel the same.  And, if you don’t feel the same then I actually hate you.

All the best!

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

MBM of the Year 2011

Wow.

This year’s MBM of The Year was a truly exciting event. There were 8, yes 8 votes cast in, what some people are calling, the poll to end all polls.  Incredibly, only 3 of those votes were me, so many thanks to the actual 5 of you that took the time to participate.

Without further ado, the winner is:

Peppercorn!!!

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

Vote for MBM of the Year 2011

The Milk Bottle Manifesto (explained here) is (probably) one of the most important political movements of the twenty-first century.  As such, it’s your civic duty to vote for your favourite from the nominations below.

Derek Cornflour

Been arrested on a trumped up murder charge? Why not hire….

Derek Cornflour

Private Detective (and part-time model)

“I’m here to help, darlings.”

This isn’t the greatest of labels, it has to be said, but Derek Cornflour, innit? Derek is probably one of my favourite Dereks.  No, scratch that, he IS my favourite Derek. He’s effing awesome.

Peppercorn

I’m an erotic peppercorn floating on the steak sauce of life.  Taste me.

Wow.  It’s like a proper poem, only shorter.  And about a peppercorn.

Barry’s Left Turn

Barry took a left turn.  He imemdiately realised that he had made a mistake.  He had driven down Kriss Akabusi Avenue and that’s where Maureen lived.  Why didn’t he buy her that copy of “Take a Break”? Oh, it was too late now.  He was alone.

I don’t want to blow my own trumpet (I don’t own one), but this story is a frigging masterpiece.  So much pathos in just a few short lines. It’s a kind of Christmas miracle.

VOTE NOW:

MBM – Donut Club

The first rule of Donut Club is….buy some donuts.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

MBM – Limerick

There once was a fellow called Stan

Whose motives were generally flan

He’d eat them all day

In a curious way

And then he’d dress up as his gran

(Portrait of a Serial Killer – A Limerick)

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

MBM – Keith Preddie

Did anybody watch Come Dine With Me last week? Keith Preddie is my new hero.  This Michael Jackson\Tina Turner impersonating legend should be Prime Minister.  Shamoan!

I should have posted this photo when it was taken last week as it’s technically out of date, but I had to do it anyway in tribute to one of Come Dine With Me’s best ever contestants.  Never has a man burped then said Shamoan so frequently.  Like so:

 

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

MBM – Dear Diary

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Dear Diary

Today, I am in work. It’s rubbish. Can we go on holiday, please? Oh Diary, you’re such a terrible lover.

I don’t know what the hell this is about today. I couldn’t think of anything to write. Sometimes, it’s as simple as that.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

MBM – Come On, Guys

Come on, guys, let’s talk, or “rap”, about all “da issuez” that are affecting you and your “homeys”, yeah? Peace out.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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