Carry On Camping
July 25, 2012 Leave a comment
Last Saturday, I went camping.
Those of you who know me will now be thinking either: a) Ha ha, that’s the best joke you’ve ever told, or b) LIAR, you’re a fucking liar. Incredibly, it’s neither a joke nor a lie. I actually did go camping.
Despite a natural aversion to being either outdoors or anywhere near to nature, it wasn’t actually that bad. Sure, sleeping on an airbed that made me feel like I was on a particularly shonky boat, and having to go on a 5 minute trek across a field to go for a piss at 6am weren’t particular highlights, but I didn’t feel like killing myself. I’d put that in the win category.
All in all, the camping experience was pretty much what I expected. A bit cold, no 3G signal, let alone wifi, and lots of grass. Nature looks great for maybe 15 minutes max, but it would be vastly improved with a big, fuck-off plasma screen. It is a relatively inexpensive way to spend a night away from home, though. Only if you take a way the cost of all the equipment, obviously.
Anyway, I’m not just here to whinge. I’m here to share with you the main fact that I learned about camping. It is the only activity where you can be serenaded to sleep by a bunch of pissed-up townies listening to “put a donk on it”-style Shit House, only to be woken up by 1950s middle-class children squabbling over the rules of cricket. Quite remarkable in a, you know, really annoying way.