Inappropriately Stacked Chocolate
June 1, 2010 5 Comments
Sometimes, I like to use PSGOM to highlight a particularly worrying social problem. Today is one of those days.
Earlier, I received the following, harrowing e-mail from my friend Joanne:
A VENDING MACHINE RANT
Why oh why oh why do they put the crunchies, 4 finger kit kats and other breakable confectionary on the top racks of the vending machines whilst putting sturdy non breakables such as Boosts and Chocolate Buttons on the bottom ones. I am quite particular on how I eat a crunchie. I like to firstly bite the chocolate off the ends and sides, then a carefully nibble the chocolate from the bottom and then eat the thickest chocolate off the top. I then eat the honeycomb centre – almost as an afterthought. However everytime I get a crunchie or a four finger kit kat for that matter from the *censored* vending machines it is broken into several crumbly bits having being dropped over 1 metre into the metal trough. (please note this does not apply to kit kat chunkys that are made of sturdier stuff). Why should I 1. pay over the odds for a crunchie just because it is out of a machine rather than out of a shop and 2. have to deal with broken mess. The world is a crazy place – I just fear for my unborn child’s future on such a stupid planet. Have you tried to break a Boost by dropping it? Have you ever noticed broken chocolate buttons – no – IT IS COMMON SNESE PUT THEM ON THE TOP AND CRUNCHIES ON THE BOTTOM AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
I’m sorry. I’m going to have to take a moment to compose myself.
Ahem. Anyway, I think we can all sympathise with Joanne’s plight. Chocolate is designed to be eaten in as a convoluted way as possible to help prolong the ecstasy. How are you able to do this when your confectionery has been wantonly smashed into a million pieces, right before your eyes. It’s downright cruel. It strikes me that anyone with half a brain would recognise which bars were more fragile, so you can only assume that the person who stocks the machine has done this on purpose. Maybe it’s a petty act of revenge against the world, because they’ve ended up stocking vending machines for a living. Who knows why anybody would commit such a senseless act. All I know is that we have to unite to stop this crime from ever happening again.
I’m happy to report that Joanne was still able to enjoy her slightly broken Crunchie.
About sherby57
Yeah and don’t forget the fizzy drink machines in which every single item, high stacked or low stacked alike, is shook to buggery in the fall, so much so that you can’t actually open the bottle or can for at least 2 hours by which time you’ve already got home and can get a can out of your own fridge for free.
The whole idea of having a carbonated beverage in a machine that requires droppage is inherently flawed. The problem with the chocolate vending machine is that they can be stacked correctly and so putting fragile bars near the top can only be described as evil.
I am not even going to go into the vending machine code labelling versus the price labelling. The other day I got a BOUNTY (yes the worse confectionary bar you can buy!) instead of a Twirl because I mistakenly typed in 55 as the Twirl code number. The Twirls real code number was 67 but the price was 55p. Can you see what happened here. Yes I had typed in the price and therefore activated the moving arms of the Bounty slot which was also 55p but also code number 55. I am not even gonna go there about why the heck a vending machine has Bounty’s in it in the first place grrr!!!
I can’t believe we live in a country where the Bounty is legal. It makes me sad somewhere deep inside.
Surely vending machine codes should be of the “AA”, “AB” variety to avoid any confusion with the pricing policy. Again, it seems to be a wanton act of vandalism by whoever maintains them.
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