CBB 2010: Day 5 and Live Shows

The show started with Davina, who was wearing a weird outfit that seemed to be a cross between a  dress and pyjamas, announcing that there would be a new housemate entering later.  Would it be somebody exciting to really stir things up?  Don’t get your hopes up.

Day 5:

The day started abruptly and we didn’t learn how Jonas and Sov’s punishment ended.  Unless I just wasn’t listening.  We started with Sov and Nicola discussing Kat and Jonas in the diary room.  Nicola had to explain to Sov what tactile means.  Isn’t she supposed to be the dim one?

Over in ‘the snug’, Vinnie and Stephanie also discussed Kat and Jonas.  They are clearly trying to build up this romance for all its worth.

The men were told that they had to take part in a ‘hunk off’.  Part of the competition was a swimwear round and they were told that they had to wear mankinis.  Sisqo, seemingly oblivious to the irony, was mortified at the thought of wearing a thong.  He’s a very serious little man and was deeply disturbed by the concept of ‘ass out’.  He thought it might help if he changed the colour of the outfit, but I don’t see how that would help cover the ass.  If you’re going to get so angry about showing your bum you probably shouldn’t have recorded a track called ‘The Thong Song’.

Resigned to his fate, he went to shave.  Eww.

Dane and Stephen refused to wear the mankinis, so they get trunks instead.  They start laughing about the fact that they got away with it and Sisqo looked close to tears.

Vinnie commented on the meeting of minds that was Alex and Stephen: ‘If bullshit was music there’d be a brass band in the lounge right now.’

The hunk off began, hosted by Vinnie, with all the ladies as judges.

Round 1: Evening wear.  They picked the cheesiest music ever for this, which was very funny, but it soon got really annoying.

Round 2: Swimwear.  Stephen wore trunks and a vest – he should have just gone with the mankini.  Dane was also covered up, which kept the mankinis a surprise.  Jonas came out in his leopardskin mankini and ‘revealing’ really isn’t the word to describe it.  I’d probably go for ‘disturbing’.  Sisqo was out next and looked mental, but he has got a very peachy ass.  Unsurprisingly, Alex loved showing off in his pink costume and streaky tan.  Sov could barely breathe for laughing.  Sisqo finally looked relieved when he was told that he had a sexy booty.  All’s well that ends well.

Round 3: Talent Show.  Stephen read a poem, which was bonkers.  This is a polite way of saying that it was rubbish.  Dane did a ten second massage on all the ladies.  Jonas gave them all his ‘special kiss on the cheek’.  Luckily, this wasn’t a euphemism.  Sisqo sang, which actually made some kind of sense.  Alex did the splits over two chairs.

Vinnie is actually quite funny and did a good job of the presenting.  In case you’re curious, Sisqo won.

This half of the round-up ended with Katia and Jonas having a snuggle on the smokers’ bench.

Live Show:

The new housemate is Ivana Trump.  I have no opinion whatsoever, other than her name is a silly pun about farting.  Davina did a mini-interview with her before she went in and her English is barely comprehensible.  Great choice.

Day 5:

Kat talked to Sov about her flirting, which she then discussed with Jonas.  They’re surprisingly open for BB contestants.  Kat stressed the innocent nature of their flirting.  Those of you who can see what is coming can keep your mouths shut.

Sisqo finally realised the deeper meaning of the whole thong incident.  Well done him.

Jonas seems to actually really like Kat.  He’s refreshingly earnest and I can almost forgive him for his awful music.

Kat admitted that she feels awful about the innocent flirting.  She admitted this while she was hugging in bed with Jonas. He’s clearly smitten, so he started kissing her.  I don’t think her boyfriend’s going to be very happy.

Live Show:

As there was no eviction, we were ‘treated’ to a variety performance.

Vinnie did a ventriloquists act with Stephen as his dummy (a giant rabbit).  Yet another nightmarish image from this year’s CBB.

Dane and Alex did a duet of ‘Especially for You’.  Dane was dressed as Kylie.  It wasn’t funny.  They had a hard task as it was never going to live up to Ulrika and Verne’s Endless Love from last year.

Sisqo, dressed as a gay ringmaster, performed a magic act with Sov as his assistant.  He made her disappear with the magic words: ‘Dinga-linga-ling school bell ring, booyakka booyakka.’  Yeah, I think he’s mental too.

The illusion reached the point when Sov was supposed to reappear, but we actually got Ivana instead.  There wasn’t much of a reaction as no one seemed to know who she was.

What a disappointing way to end the show.