The X Factor Finals: Week 4

It was ‘Rock Week’ on the X Factor this week and it meant that I might possibly like some of the songs.   That said, they were always likely to be somewhat flexible in their definition of ‘rock’, so I wasn’t banking on liking any of them.  On a more mundane note, I hurriedly finished this post on my dinner, so please forgive any mistakes until I get chance to go back and edit it.

Saturday

Running Time (including the Xtra Factor): 165 minutes
Time I watched it in: 78 minutes

X Factor Ratio: 47.3%

Without further ado, let’s get down to the singing:

Joe – So far he has been my least favourite contestant, perhaps unfairly.  Even though I had no idea what the song was that he was singing,  I actually hated it less than his other performances.  That’s quite a compliment coming from me.

It struck me, even this early in the evening, that there’s a possibility that none of the contestants actually have the x-factor this year.  Disappointingly, there was no Bon Jovi master class; I was strangely looking forward to it.

Lucie – I had pretty much the same thoughts as I did last week; she’s got a lovely voice but it all seems a little half-hearted.  I feel completely unfair criticising someone who sings so well, but you end up being hyper-critical when you watch these kind of programmes.  Simon came up with his first of many funny quotes: ’The reason I didn’t like you last week is because you were boring.’  Mr Cowell did praise her but it felt a little like he was forced to.  It made me wonder if, following last week’s shocks, they were going to be grimly positive for anyone that they consider to be a ‘singer’.

Danyl – The performance that all the vultures were looking forward to most; how would he cope after the shock of last week?  It’s not quite clear to me why he is  ’hated’ and  I find it all slightly weird.  His introductory VT set the scene with the obligatory sob story.  Danyl sang the Aerosmith ‘Armageddon’ song, which was a classic Simon song choice.  Incredibly, the early part of the song was awful – he didn’t sing the melody and he was out of tune.  What on earth has gone wrong with him?  It was a terrible performance and he knew it; he looked like a broken man.  Dannii’s comments were spot on, but it felt a little harsh after he had been so much better than anyone else in previous weeks.  Cheryl told him that, ‘You don’t do it for me’, which seemed like she was being tactical again.  Simon cagily praised the second half of the song, but the implications for the first half were clear.

The cynical part of my brain wondered if he was acting sad on purpose.

Lloyd – In previous weeks I’ve been quite lenient on Lloyd because I like the tone of his voice.  Sadly, a poor vocal this week highlighted his rabbit in the headlights performance style, but I don’t want to be too harsh on him because he is only 16.  He sang a Katy Perry song so you can consider the definition of rock well and truly stretched.

If he didn’t have screaming girls voting for him then he’d be in real trouble this week.

Stacey – They gave her a more elaborate performance this week after being compared to a statue in previous episodes.  The first half of the song consisted of her sitting on a box which is surely less effort than standing still.  Eventually she did a bit of walking whilst singing.  What amazing choreography.

I like Stacey purely because I could imagine listening to her to help me fall asleep.  This is weird in iteself as I don’t listen to music when I’m falling asleep and it can hardly be considered a compliment.  Simon said: ’I was more impressed with your walking than with your singing.’

Jamie – It was a deceptively tough night for Jamie because it was ‘his week’ and he needed to do something special.  He didn’t. And, to make matters worse, the fake band were back.

I feel like I judge him more harshly than some of the others, I think, because I expect more from him.  I didn’t like it, but was he really any worse than anybody else?  I’m finding it increasingly difficult to make objective comments on any of them.

Cheryl questioned why we suddenly have rock week in the one year that Simon has a rock singer in his category.  Simon looked deeply offended by the insinuation.  Awesome.

Rachel – She really stepped up last week and needed to keep her momentum going.  The first thing to that needs to be mentioned is the terrible dress that she was wearing.  Even I could have picked a better one.  Not that it’s really relevant.  She sang ‘One’ by U2 and I was a bit worried during the first half of the song, but she really pulled it together and was probably the best act so far.

Simon, modest as ever, said: ’I take complete credit for turning you around.’

I feel like there is a decrease in the number of sarcastic jokes in my post this week. They’re obviously not giving me enough material to work with.

John and Edward – Simon said (as he was laughing): ‘This is worse than a nightmare.’  The nightmare certainly continued as The Twerps did a rap version of ‘We Will Rock You’ by Queen.  It was certainly very appropriate for Halloween.  My theory, on Friday, that they would be asked to do a toned down performance was WAY off the mark.

Actually this was the least bad that they’ve been in the whole competition, which, ironically, means that they’re probably going home.  God forgive me for saying this, but I would sort of prefer them to  stay in rather than some of the others.  At least they have a bit of personality.

Olly – Oh yeah, that Olly guy is still in the competition.  I can’t really criticise him vocally, but he’s yet another contestant where I’m just not feeling it.  Simon seemed to like it; he looked like he was being sucked off under the desk.  Olly was the final act for the night.

Over on The Xtra Factor, the judges were in the upstairs studio and took part in a new feature in which they picked a viewer to speak to, based on a brief headline.  It was actually quite a funny segment and the judges had fun picking callers to wind each other up.  On a logistical note, Cheryl was really not wearing the right dress to be perched on a stool and she did well to conceal herself.  It’s a real struggle for me not to say something complimentary about Holly.

The best part of the whole evening came when Heidi from the Sugababes phoned up and Simon sarcastically asked how they were all getting on these days.   They swiftly moved on.

I’m really struggling to know who to pick in my predictions.  Nobody is rubbish, but neither is anybody standing out. As such, I’m just going to pick on whims.  To be fair, I can’t be any less accurate than previous attempts.

Should be in bottom 2: Lloyd + Jamie

Will be in bottom 2: Lucie + Rachel

Sunday

Running Time: 120 minutes
Time I watched it in: 46 minutes

X Factor Ratio: 38.3%

The show started with the customary group song and it continued its tradition of being unspeakably awful.  I don’t think we should discuss it any further.

I fast forwarded through lots of stuff here and got straight to the results with Rachel and Lloyd being the bottom two.  I predicted Rachel would be there and did so simply because she had been there before.  Even though she was one of the best performers on the night, she is the one that doesn’t seem to have a fan base.  Lloyd was a surprise despite me thinking that he should be there.  A few weeks ago the Scottish block vote myth was shattered (when Rikki went home), and this week the Screaming Young Girls block vote myth was dispelled.  How bizarre.

It was a tough call on who should go.  I felt that Rachel was the stronger act, but how many second chances should you give somebody?  We’d have to see how they performed in the sing-off.

Rachel – ‘Stop Crying Your Heart Out’ by Oasis – It must have been tough for her in the circumstances but she pulled through and gave a good, solid performance.

Lloyd – ‘You Are So Beautiful’ by Joe Cocker – Cheryl stressed that Lloyd had a bad throat before he sang and he did a nice touch of the throat, while he was singing, to emphasise his poorliness.  To be fair, he was clearly struggling and did the best he could – which wasn’t great.

The two lady judges voted with their acts and Louis voted to save Rachel.  It was all down to Simon who fairly, yet boringly, took it to deadlock and the public vote.  Not surprisingly Rachel went home.

After switching over to The Xtra Factor, it seemed that Lloyd actually couldn’t talk.  He did well to be able to sing at all.

Following on from the success of the previous night the judges were back upstairs on their stools.  Cheryl was sensibly wearing trousers this time.  It was a good idea to move them to the Xtra Factor studio and you get much more out of them when they’re not sat in the main studio.

They went to the phone lines again and Louis loved the fact that they picked ‘Simon can’t mentor’.  The callers all tend to be unflinchingly direct and it makes for enjoyably uncomfortable viewing.  One of the callers basically just told Cheryl that her dress was horrible.  I don’t think she quite knew how to respond.  If you’re not watching this bit then you’re missing out.

In Conclusion

It’s a shame that Rachel went  home as she was by no means the worst contestant.  After this week, even taking in to account his sore throat, Lloyd seriously needs to buck his ideas up.  Quite remarkably Jedward live to fight another day. How long will their reign of terror go on?

Total Duration: 285 minutes

Total time I spent watching it:  124 minutes

Overall X Factor Ratio: 43.5%