The X Factor Finals: Week 3
October 26, 2009 26 Comments
Well, it was big band week, this week, and it usually separates the metaphorical men from the metaphorical boys. Could John and Edward stay in the competition for another week, purely by being crap? Well keep reading and you’ll find out.
Saturday
Running Time (including the Xtra Factor): 180 minutes
Time I watched it in: 75 minutes
X Factor Ratio: 41.7%
I started watching Saturday’s episodes at half-past eleven, which isn’t desperately late but is a bit too late to be arsed writing this. I can only apologise if none of this makes sense.
Olly – Was it just me or was he dressed like a five year old at a wedding? He gave a competent performance, but still had a look of terror in his eyes. I was impressively underwhelmed. Thank god for the return of ‘Lil Louis, who managed to use the clichés ’you’re the dark horse’ and ‘you’re the boy next door’ in his first set of comments.
Why did no one tell Cheryl that her head band had slipped? It was at the same jaunty angle as Captain Mainwaring’s glasses when he falls over.
Lloyd – He seemingly managed to sing the entire song in one breath as well as developing an American accent. He did a back flip during the performance and Simon gave him a look that would have been more appropriate if he’d just seen him having sex with a horse. It was a pretty good performance after something of a shaky start.
Dannii’s dress looked like what the most glamourous woman in a post apocalyptic society would wear (sparkly tatty sack).
Miss Frank – This performance lurched dangerously between good and awful. My first reaction was that it was going to crash land in camp awful, but I think this would have been harsh. It was their best performance to date.
I’ve missed Louis’ unique clapping technique.
Rachel – It’s only during Rachel’s VT that I realised that Mike Bubble was doing a master class. I was doing well with my fast forwarding. Rachel was excellent this week, and, with a strong up-tempo song (Proud Mary), she proved that she has a great voice. If she’s in the bottom two this week then it will be a joke.
I’ve just realised that I don’t really mention what songs the acts have been singing. Is that weird? It seems a bit weird. I think it’s an indicator though how much the music actually matters to my enjoyment of the show (not very much).
Jamie – Did he really only have 24 hours to learn the song, or did they just say that to add a bit of drama? Either way, Angel of Harlem by U2 was a strange choice for big band week. I didn’t really like it, and he kind of bores me. And it bores me even more that I’ve said he slightly bores me again. The performance came across as a bit karaoke, but Simon looked at the point of orgasm at the end of the song. Louis thought that since U2 were clearly not ‘big band’ then Simon was effectively cheating and that the performance was karaoke anyway. I seem to have the exact same views as Mr Walsh, which is more than a little disturbing.
Stacey – She’s got an old fashioned, soothing type voice that I shouldn’t really like and yet I love listening to her. For that reason, I’ve not really got anything sarcastic to say about her. I won’t even bring up the 70s sitcom stuff. I think the judges’ comments were a bit harsh.
Danyl – Something of an enigma; he’s a great singer but no one seems to like him. The big problem with Danyl is that his performances are so professional that you get no buzz when he gives a good performance and so it’s tempting to not rate him as highly as you should. Previous winners, Leona and Alexandra, ended up being excellent, but you at least felt that they went on a journey. Danyl has seemed like an established recording artist from his first audition. For that reason, I feel that his presence could almost spoil the series.
Joe – I don’t think there is really much point in me commenting too much as he’s really not my cup of tea, but the judges love him. He’s the only performer, so far, that I fast forwarded through much of the song. He seems like a nice enough lad so I don’t want to be nasty. That said, he’s surely not pop star in a million years (I’ve now sealed his fate as a mega star).
Lucie – It’s a bit harsh to zoom in on her face on the 500 inch screen when she’s got noticeable zits. She sang this exceptionally well, but it left no impression on me whatsoever.
Does each judge have to give a half hearted standing ovation for each of their acts?
John and Edward – The Twerps had a lot to live up to after last week and they spectacularly failed to deliver. I think it’s safe to say that the joke is now officially over. The girl in the middle of the Jedward sandwich was pretty tasty though.
Over on The Xtra Factor, Holly seemed to be dressed as Princess Leia. Being Holly though, you shouldn’t read this as a criticism.
Predictions -
It’s proving to be really tough to make predictions this year since, Jedward apart, none of the acts are really rubbish and none of them are really standing out. I’ll give it a go anyway.
Should be in bottom 2: John and Edward + Joe
Will be in bottom 2: Olly + Jamie
Sunday
Running Time: 120 minutes
Time I watched it in: 43 minutes
X Factor Ratio: 35.8%
The show started, as always, with the dreaded group song. This week it was like a really bad amateur dramatics society musical and there was so much overacting going on that it was actually physically draining.
Thankfully Westlife made an appearance after that, so there was a good five minutes I could fast forward straight through. Ditto Mike Bubble.
Shockingly, Danyl and Miss Frank were in the bottom two. Ok, it was a shock that Danyl was in the bottom two and the mildest of mild surprises that Miss Frank were. The big question was whether or not either of the female judges have the guts to tactically get rid of Danyl.
Miss Frank – ‘Love Don’t Live Here Anymore’ – It wasn’t a bad performance actually and it must have be tough for them to concentrate knowing who they were up against. Towards the end of the song I changed my mind and thought that maybe it was terrible. I just don’t seem to be able to make my mind up about them.
Danyl – ‘With a Little Help From My Friends’ (Joe Cocker version) – He must have been absolutely gutted, but he was excellent as always.
Cheryl was the last judge to vote and craftily took it to deadlock. This meant that there was a chance that she could get rid of one of her main rivals without looking like the bad guy. Miss Frank still went home though; nice try Chezza.
Over on The Xtra Factor and Holly looked amazing. I’m probably going to stop mentioning that though as I’m starting to sound a tad obsessive. In the interview with the judges, Simon was rightly bewildered by the voting. The other noticeable thing with the judges was, and I’ll put this as politely as I can, Louis looked fucked.
Towards the end of the show, Yvie and Brian revealed that had to go to an emergency meeting because nobody knew what was going on with the voting. Bring on next week!
In Conclusion
Well, my faith in the great British public was restored when Rachel was safe, but I immediately became suspicious again as Danyl, incredibly, ended up in the bottom two. With the demise of Miss Frank, poor Louis is left with just The Twerps. Logically, I would have said that this left him no chance of winning, but strange things seem to be happening. Will sanity be restored next week?
Total Duration: 300 minutes
Total time I spent watching it: 118 minutes
Overall X Factor Ratio: 39.3%
About sherby57
Lengthy comment alert…..!
How dire was this week’s show, Sherby? Just really really bad.
I thought most people were pretty rubbish. Stacie and Lucie were both incredibly boring, (and Stacie strayed from the tune most of the time) and didn’t connect with the songs or what they were singing about at all, Rachel was better than usual but still no great shakes and then spoiled it all by behaving like a moron during her post-song chat with Dermot. I think someone has told her what they told Alexandra around this time last year – “you need to show personality.” Shame she picked the personality of Stacie’s infinitely stupider twin instead of someone who can get a coherent sentence out.
You are so right about Olly’s outfit, but his performance was ok I thought. I thought Lloyd was really bad though – he could have been singing about his shopping list, there was so little feeling in his eyes. And Joe, oh, Joe. About as seductive as a care bear. Sweet, cute, fresh-faced, in tune, yes; “sexy” no, Cheryl.
J&E were indeed far less funny than last week, but on the “it’s not big band” theme, Louis is a total hypocrite. “Angel of Harlem” not big band because U2 sang it? Unlike seminal big band artists Ricky Martin of “She Bangs” fame or perhaps Credence Clearwater Revival/Tina Turner/Beyonce of “Proud Mary”? Come on, Walsh. I was really surprised Simon didn’t slap him upside the head. Although the “man from the Council” comment was pretty funny.
As far as the result went, I think the thing about Miss Frank is that everyone really WANTS them to be good, and there’s something a bit interesting about them – the raps, Graziella’s bizarro eye make-up, the attempts at being current – but really, the singing is not up to par. It’s just shouting, not usually in tune either, so it’s not unfair that they went. I did feel sorry for Danyl despite the fact I don’t like him either – he was miles better than everybody else. Still wouldn’t vote for him though. I have no idea why, but you might well be onto something with your “no journey” theory, Sherby…
I forgot to tune in on time (I watch live, so it was right near lunch time) so I missed Ollie. I thought Lucie sounded beautiful but looked boring, boring, boring. Ditto Danyl. At least my Jamie brings some excitement to the performance, even if he looks like a badly groomed dishwasher with very bad constipation issues (seriously, what is it with that rag and the crouching down?) I though Stacie (whom I love, as everyone must, because 70′s sitcom characters deserve that) was awful and I strategically missed the boys.
But for me, the highlight of the day was Louis. When he was bopping along to the utter awfulness of the twins, it was as if the entire show had transcended to some meta place, where the twins were actually enjoyable in the moment and the inflatable balloons were their guardian spirits. Because Louis was *really* bopping, and smiling, and… words fail.
In the beginning I was a fan of Rachel, but since the live shows… not so much. We definitely differ on who we like!
I was a little bit shocked Danyl was in the bottom 2 as well as a little bit excited. Miss Frank being in the bottom wasn’t too surprising. I would have liked to see either go, but why the hell is John & Edward still there?
I’m extremely sad I can’t vote and that they don’t broadcast it over here in America. Oooh one more thing! Rock Week?!!? WHY?!!? I’m not satisfied with these themes. I can’t wait to see Lloyd, Lucie, and Olly again next week!
Ah, how I look forward to CJs long X Factor comments. This sounds like I am being sarcastic, but I can assure you my sentiments are genuine. Without wanting to play favourites, it’s also great to hear from e and Kameron again (I sound erroneously sarcastic again – I don’t seem to be able to help it).
I do try and look on the bright-side with the show (believe or not), but I can certainly understand why you think it was a bad show, CJ. As I said in my post, there’s no really awful singers this year, but there’s also little x factor on display. Lucie gave a terrific vocal performance but I didn’t care. I can also understand why you didn’t like Stacey Spencer’s performance, but I have an inexplicable liking for her voice and so I wasn’t too offended by the lack of movement.
I thought Rachel was, comparatively, really good. It’s easy to be cynical and think that she put on the OTT act in order to appear to have some personality. I’m not entirely sure whether I believe this or not; I think it can be easy to forget just how overwhelming it must be to take part in such a show.
Lloyd is pretty wooden, to be fair, but he’s another one who I kind of like his voice. He does look extremely uncomfortable on stage, but I suppose he is only 16.
Louis was something of a hypocrite, but that doesn’t mean he was wrong!! I felt that the difference between Jamie’s and Jedward\Rachel’s song choices was that ‘Angel of Harlem appeared to be a completely straight cover, whilst the others felt at least vaguely nodding towards big band – although that is just my personal feeling and I’m quite prepared to be totally wrong on the matter.
I think your point about people wanting Miss Frank to be better than they were is really interesting and could well explain the mixed feeling I had about them. My first instinct was always to think that they were rubbish, but I felt that I should give them the benefit of the doubt.
I’m quite proud of the ‘no journey’ theory (sad, I know). If you think back to last year, it was about week 3 that Alexandra did ‘Candy Man’, and made everyone sit up and take notice – that performance seemed to come out of nowhere. Danyl’s been at that level since his first audition – he’s a victim of his own success.
Whereabouts in the world are you watching, e? Your description of Jamie’s attire is shockingly spot on. I think the stylist went walk-about this week. Although I quite liked Stacey’s mermaid dress.
Louis must be the most unprofessional music professional in the world and I just love how biased he is. He may be annoying but the show wouldn’t be the same without him. And his bopping. Also, his clapping technique should be the standard way of clapping; it’s much more dramatic.
Kameron, it was quite exciting that Danyl was in the bottom two. If I was being cynical then I might suggest that they faked it in order to give him a bit of adversity. John and Edward have obviously made a deal with the devil.
It’s not the devil. It’s just logic: People want to be entertained. J&E are entertaining. People will vote for them to stay.
Of course, this is from the gal who wanted Same Difference to win because they were mesmerizingly odd, and who adored Chico.
(I’m a USian)
Same Difference were insanely creepy and are surely now working for an evangelical Christian TV station!
It kind of sums up the British mentality that Jedward are considered entertaining… we do like our crapness. Do you think there is any chance that they would have either a) got to the finals, or b) lasted beyond week one, if they did get to the finals, in an American version? I’d be interested in your opinion as a USian!
How on earth did you get in to X Factor in the first place?
I’m an angloholic, I’m afraid. Thank heavens for UKNova if you know what I’m saying.
Really like your x-factor update – make mine look a bit lightweight!
Think your analysis of Daryl is spot on.
M
I really enjoyed your X Factor update because it was both funny and hit on the essential truth on why I watch the programme – it’s all about the drama and not about the music!!
Anybody else can read Mr Shev’s post, here: http://mrshev.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/x-factor-part-one/
I’m a little biased myself, Sherby – if my favourite judge Simon says Angel of Harlem is ok, then it’s ok
And I constantly want to tell Louis off, although you’re right, that and his seal-inspired clapping is part of the fun of the thing.
I do so want Lloyd to be good, because, bless him, he’s very sweet but I think Cheryl did him no favours picking him this year. In a couple of years time, once he’s grown up and lived a little, and got a little confidence, I think he’ll be great. At the moment, I just think he’s out of his depth, even though he has the makings of a nice voice and he certainly has pop star looks. I bet Louis does sign him up for a boyband once X Factor is over – I don’t think he was joking when he suggested it….
e, I cheered Same Difference on (they were Simon’s act), but I have to say NO TO CHICO. And hopefully NO TO JOHN & EDWARD as soon as the public get bored of them. Although the news today is saying they topped the public vote this week. Madness.
On paper, Louis is a terrible choice as a judge, and yet, paradoxically, that’s what makes him a great judge. There is always the rumour that he would be a judge on the proposed US X Factor, and I can’t imagine what they’d make of him.
I actually quite liked Chico (up to a point). I think the difference with him is that he knew he was a rubbish singer, and so put a lot of effort in to being an entertainer – and he had a lot more stage presence than the majority of acts. You also knew that there was no chance that he was actually going to win.
Surely Jedward couldn’t have topped the public vote!!
Oh baby, it’s CHICO TIME!!! Man made me laugh. Plus he irritated Simon a lot.
I <3 British TV Simon so much more than US TV SImon, which is to say I like US TV Simon too but it's not the same. He's too tame. And Dyspeptic. For some reason, I can't imagine.
Do you think there are actually two different Simons? There is a touch of the androids about him.
I’m a USian as well, but I prefer American or that guy from America-Land.
If Louis makes it to the US version of The X Factor I will absolutely cry! This is my first season (series) watching The X Factor (to see Cheryl Cole) and I really love how it is setup. I heard that they would bring Paula Abdul on The X Factor US too, what a disaster that would be. The woman never makes any sense! Cheryl would be gold in comparison to those two, not that she doesn’t already sparkle.
I have no idea who this Chico fellow is. I don’t think Jedward would make it far over here, well I would hope not.
Sorry for the choppy-ness of this comment but I’m trying to do this and pay attention to my Geography of Europe course.
I fear the impending Bon Jovi storm about to hit the show… It makes me weep at night.
Clearly, you have not had “the talk” with Mexicans (United States of Mexico) or Canadians (We’re Americans too, eh)…
But I’m would be considered American too so that’s why I said it. I never mentioned whether or not Mexicans or Canadians could be expressed as the same!
I hope that one day ‘America-Land’ becomes the official name for the US!
The thing with Louis is, as much as I understand why you can’t stand him, the show would be worse without him. I have trouble comprehending this myself and it is similar to trying to understand quantum mechanics.
You guys in America-Land tend to like people who are good at what they do, which is why I agree with you that Jedward wouldn’t go down well over there. Over in Blighty, we have a perverse love of crapness.
Which brings me neatly to Chico. Hmmm, how to explain Chico…..well, he was a swarthy lothario-style ex-goat herder from Morocco\Wales and he got through to boot camp (I assume against Simon’s wishes – I can’t quite remember) largely on the basis of being a bit of an over confident OTT performer.
He was in Sharon Osborne’s category and when they did ‘Judges’ Houses’ he had to perform in front of Sharon & Ozzy and a whole bunch of celebs, in LA, in their garden. He impressed them mainly by jumping in to a fountain whilst singing his audition, whilst holding on to a microphone that was connected to mains electricity. This lack of concern for his own well-being was more than enough to send him to the finals.
Sadly, he couldn’t sing to save his life and resorted to an increasing number of ridiculous gimmicks in order to stay in the competition, which started with dancing with a small black child and culminated in performing, on the live finals, his own composition ‘It’s Chico Time’. Yes, really.
To be honest, just recounting all that has made me yearn for the glory days of Chico and it makes me proud to live in a country where that sort of stuff could happen on a talent show.
Anyway.
I’m not a Bon Jovi fan myself, but I can imagine them giving very earnest advice in the ‘masterclass’, so it might end up being quite funny.
And one must not dis’ Singing Goat Herders. Thank you again.
One would never dream about doing such a thing. I simply adore Singing Goat Herders in their myriad forms.
Oh, and I don’t really know what UKNova is, but I can take a wild guess lol.
What other UK shows do you like e?
I’m totally addicted to Location, Location, Location (and the re-re-re-version as well). I’ve flirted with Top Gear, have watched Dr. Who since I was very small (Tom Baker was *my* Doctor), have given up on Torchwood, adored Coupling, have been rolling my eyes over Merlin (which I mostly can’t stand — and despised Demons), love, love, love Being Human (and can’t wait for January), and watch lots of odd documentaries and stuff. I’m about to dive into The Story of God and recently watched Trouble in Amish Paradise.
Oh and X-factor. Each year I swear I wont’ go back, but I always do.
Did you watch the recent 5 part series of Torchwood (was it Children of Earth?)? It was a massive improvement over the previous series, to the point of effectively being a different show.
Being Human was excellent, and its good to see a British sci-fi\fantasy show done well. It had a unique flavour to it that you would never have gotten in a US programme.
Do you like any UK comedy shows, other than Coupling?
I really liked Being Human and I’m glad they showed it on BBC America! I’m in love with the first two series of Skins! Sadly I’ve never gotten into Torchwood, Dr. Who, or Top Gear. I do however have a special place in my heart for You Are What You Eat. I find it so crazy good. But the shows of all shows for me (UK wise) has to be Absolutely Fabulous! It’s genius.
I watched some of the 5-part series and then I was (inadvertantly) majorly spoiled about not one but two character deaths. I gave up in utter disgust at that point.
I love many of the classic BritComs but I haven’t really found anything recent that has caught my interest. Any suggestions?
I’ve recently enjoyed the BBC’s How Not To Live Your Life (http://poursomegravyonme.co.uk/2009/10/23/stuff-i-watched-21st-oct-22nd-oct-2009/) – with the last episode of the second series on last week. I enjoyed the first series, but the second was much stronger. It’s about Don, a lovable loser who inherits his gran’s house – which sounds terrible, but it is funny.
The sixth series of the excellent Peep Show has just finished (although, I’ve still got the last episode to watch). It’s about two ill-suited flat-mates and has a unique point-of-view filming style and we hear the characters thoughts. It’s an excellent example of comedy of embarrassment.
Just back, last Saturday, was The Thick of It (which inspired the film, In The Loop). It’s a fly-on-the-wall style political satire that features the best swearing on TV.
I hope that you’re including Alan Partridge in your classic BritCom line-up, and no sitcom list could be without him. Two semi-related series are ‘The Day Today’ and ‘Brass Eye’, which aren’t sitcoms but are spoof news\current affairs programmes, and are amazing. I’ve never been able to watch the news in the same way since (although it might not have the same effect if US news is radically different!).
I apologise if I am patronising you and telling you about a load of shows that you’ve already seen!!
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