Sex Sells: The Mr Banana Penis Story

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s this: Bloggin’ ain’t easy.

Actually that’s not true at all.  Blogging is very easy, it’s getting someone to read your blog that’s hard.  Thanks to those talented chaps at WordPress (where both my blogs are hosted), I can actually see how few hits I’ve been getting.  For PSGOM, my average number of hits for the last week is 0.71.  I’ve actually been fair and not included today, which hasn’t finished yet, and this has marked me down – I’ve had a whole 8 hits today which would have taken me over a full hit per day average (woo-hoo!).

Over at The World of Sherby57, things are slightly healthier with a average hit rate of 16 per day, for the last week.  It seems obvious that I’d be getting more hits over there – I’ve been doing it longer and there are a lot more posts.  I do, however, also have a secret weapon: Mr Banana Penis.

On the 20th August 2007, I posted the lovely story ‘Genetic Engineering – Has It Gone Too Far?‘, primarily to take advantage of this strange photo I had taken of a mate:

Luckily for me, people with banana penises must be very popular out there.  This post has had by far the most number of hits on the blog, a total of 1768 as I type this (plus another 280 hits from two related posts.  The next most popular post is Geordie Jeans, which has had 356 hits.  The figures rapidly go downhill from there.  On PSGOM, the top ranking post is currently Food Update, which has had a paltry 14 hits (and is literally just a photo of a Toby Carvery meal).

It’s true what they say: sex sells.

WordPress also allows me to see what people put in to the search engine to find my blog.  It’s actually quite remarkable what some people search for.  If you are brave, have a look at Penis Frenzy, where I document some of the phrases people used to find Mr Banana Penis.  Some of my favourites include: ‘jesus penis’, ‘female penis’, and ‘international penis’.  These were collated back in February 2008, and there have been plenty of cock-phrases since.  Some recent examples are:

• what does a penis look like
• foto wajah penis
• human penis
• donkey penis
• penis human

The sad thing (from my point of view), is that whoever is looking for these things is looking for masturbatory material, and so will instantly leave the site (unless the banana penis does something for them).

It seems sightly weird, even to me, that I’m writing an explanation of how few hits I’m getting, given that, since I’m getting so few hits it’s unlikely anyone will ever read this (although, I think that last sentence sums up the whole ethos of blogging).  Plus you never know, I may get a few extra cock-related hits from this post.  It’s just a shame that they will all be from people looking for something else entirely.