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January 23, 2009 1 Comment
It’s the final day of CBB for another year, and as such we’ve compiled two separate poles:
The Order We Think They Will Finish
1. Verne
2. Ben
3. Coolio
4. Ulrika
5. Terry
The Order In Which We’d Like Them To Finish
1. Terry
2. Coolio
3. Verne
4. Ulrika
5. Ben
We’ll be back after the final to see how our predictions fared.
January 23, 2009 Leave a Comment
Apathy has set in, right before the final. Yesterday’s results were:
1=Terry
1=Coolio
3=Ben
3=Ulrika
5. Verne
It’s all getting very tight, and Verne has plummeted down the rankings. Who will win? You decide. Well, you do if you bother to vote.
January 21, 2009 Leave a Comment
January 21, 2009 Leave a Comment
The ‘pole’ is controversially being published a day late, due in no small part to this controversial letter:
Steven,
I feel in would be inappropriate for me to participate in today’s BB Pole as I failed to watch last nights show.
It is with deep regret that I did not fulfil my duty last night. As a result I feel that the only way manner in
which this situation can be rectified is by you solely calculating the scores for the BB Pole today.
Apologies,
Your esteemed colleague.
JLS
So, as a result, I had to compile the rankings alone, so alone, cold and lonely. And here they are (mainly based on the chilli eating task):
1. Terry – Terry has been my personal pick since the beginning and it’s only JLS’ love of Verne that has kept him from the top spot.
2. Ben – Remained very calm whilst eating chillies.
3. Verne – Eating two chillies must count as more than double for Vernon.
4. Coolio – Only had two chillies.
5. Ulrika – Needs to cheer up.
6. Tommy – Still not recovered from the day he went mental.
7. La Toya – Laughs like her brother. Disturbing.
January 19, 2009 Leave a Comment
Sometimes, they say that you shouldn’t vote out the annoying contestants because they provide more entertainment. To an extent, I agree with the sentiment, but In Tina’s case, she just had to go. And, thankfully, she did go. Oh, and Mutya skulked out, leaving the pressing question: did she get paid?
It’s all change on the leaderboard after a busy weekend:
1. Coolio - He’s sprung to the top spot from nowhere, but he probably provides most value for money.
2. Terry – Steady Eddy. Well, Steady Terry.
3=Verne – Has slipped down the rankings, as I still try to come to terms with his drunken antics.
3=Michelle – Does she like Ben?
3=Ben – Does he like Michelle?
6. Ulrika – Quite low because she whacked Terry.
7. La Toya - I’ve nothing against her, she just isn’t really involved.
8. Tommy – Went a bit mental last night.
There’s an eviction tonight, will it be Tommy who goes? We’ll see you tomorrow.
January 16, 2009 Leave a Comment
Oh it’s eviction night and the feeling’s right… for Tina to be booted out.
1) Verne – Back on top, mainly for jumping off some boxes in to Michelle’s arms.
2) Coolio – He’s the only contestant with his own cookery book.
3) Terry – The Manc slips.
4) Ben – Moves up a couple of places due to his hiding under a duvet.
5) Michelle – A non-mover, despite catching Verne.
6) Mutya – Up two places for a sterling performance on the giant piano.
7=Ulrika – Cries over children.
7=Tommy – Slips four places for pretending to sleep through Car Wash.
9) La Toya – Not unpleasant, just a bit too anonymous.
10) Tina – How can she simultaneously believe the following facts about her chances of beating 80,000 hits for her ballet challenge? A): “I’m not going to lose, no way, I’m on fucking Channel 4″ , and B): “I told you we’d lose, I just said we’d only get about 30, 40 thousand hits”. They can’t both be right love.
January 15, 2009 Leave a Comment
It’s all change today, as we approach eviction night:
1=Verne – Still top because he had a race on his shopmobility scooter.
1=Terry – Slowly creeping up to challenge Vernon’s lead.
3. Tommy – A big surge today for Tommy, principally for chasing Verne round dressed as a racing car. Oh, and for not being totally anonymous.
4. Coolio – Gone up a place for showing us his caring side.
5. Michelle – Down a place for too much whinging.
6. Ben – Was he even on last night’s show? Oh yeah, the unscary dinosaur.
7. Ulrika – Making a late surge to avoid relegation.. I mean, eviction.
8. Mutya – Dropped 5 places for being a big sulk. Is she trying to get evicted?
9. La Toya – Might as well be a ghost.
10. Tina – Vile.
January 14, 2009 Leave a Comment
What a shocker! How on earth did Coolio not get nominated? Is he a genius of manipulation as the Daily Star claim, or was it just dumb luck? You decide.
Two of the people nominated (Tina & Ulrika) were in our bottom four yesterday, giving us a 50% success rate at predicting the nominations. As for predicting who will be evicted, JLS wants Tina to go and thinks she will too; I want Tina to go but think it will be Michelle that leaves.
Today’s ‘pole’ is as follows:
1. Verne – Mainly here because JLS thinks he is cute.
2. Terry
3. Mutya
4. Michelle – The top four stay the same despite heavy duty whinging by Michelle & Mutya.
5 = La Toya
5=Coolio – I can’t quite decide if I really like him or can’t stand him – and so he is ranked exactly in the middle.
5=Tommy – Today’s big mover going from 9th to 5th – I suspect purely ‘cos he hasn’t moaned too much.
8. Ulrika – Apparently she thinks she is better than everyone else.
9. Ben – Ben is surprisingly low for someone so inoffensive, but perhaps that’s his problem.
10. Tina – She has to go.
January 13, 2009 2 Comments
After being thoroughly disgusted with the Daily Star’s ranking of the CBB housemates, ie. Tina wasn’t bottom, my esteemed colleague, Mr Joseph “JLS” Waugh, and myself have compiled our own, correct version (see attached photo). We both independently voted and combined these to provide the definite countdown of who to like and who to despise. The official ‘pole’ is thus:
1. Verne
2. Terry
3. Mutya
4. Michelle
5. La Toya
6. Coolio
7 = Ulrika
7 = Ben
9. Tommy
10. Tina
Come back tomorrow to see how things have dramatically changed.. or possibly be exactly the same.
January 8, 2009 Leave a Comment
OK, I know I’ve previously claimed to not like reality TV shows (‘X-Rated’), but I’ll admit I’m already hooked on Celebrity Big Brother. And, in what seems a paradox, the less interesting it is, the more I’m enjoying it. I don’t think that’s as stupid as it sounds though, and it goes back to a long standing problem I have with BB.
For a casual observer, it would be very easy to label the current housemates as set of dullards, with some showing all the personality of a damp sponge. But this is a bit of a trick, since the endless parade of freaks that has blighted both versions of Big Brother have left anyone without a serious personality disorder seem a bit of a bore. In television terms they’re ‘boring’, but this equates in the real world to ‘normal’, and they’ve clearly gone down this route for a reason;I think we all want to avoid a repeat of the petty schoolground bullying that Shilpa Shetty endured a couple of years ago. This reluctance to put anyone too extreme in to the house has inadvertently shown something that Channel 4 forgot a long time ago. You don’t have to play ringmaster to the circus of the damned in order to have an enjoyable show. And, that simply watching relationships develop, seeing how they deal with group conflicts and the tedium of the house can provide entertaining viewing in itself. You don’t have to poke them with the cattle prod called Controversy every five minutes; in fact it becomes counter productive to do so as you get embroiled in an escalating game of one-upmanship with yourself, desperate not to have all subsequent episodes seem anticlimactic. If you have the courage to let things develop naturally, then sure, you don’t make headlines in the tabloids every day and channel hoppers will think nothing is happening (and will tell everyone they work with that nothing is happening). However for those who stick with it, you provide a much more rewarding and genuine experience.
I stopped watching the regular Big Brother a few years ago after becoming sick of the battling neuroses. When I first started watching the show, with the relatively sedate BB2, the reason I liked it was because they all pretty much got along, they had a laugh and you felt part of the family. I eagerly awaited BB3, which Channel 4 had seen fit to spice up by turning it in to a hermetically sealed Club Reps. It might be me, but the constant slanging matches and people getting wanked off under duvets seemed like something of a decline in comparison. Perhaps this is why the more sedate amusement of Verne’s cabs and LaToya the jester seems like a refreshing change.
Sadly, I suspect that I’m in a minority of one, and that they’ll have Jodie Marsh and Jackie Stallone shipped in by the weekend to save plummeting viewing figures. I’ll just have to make the most of it while it lasts.
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