Bobby’s Onion Rings Controversy

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about Bobby or any of his delicious snacks.  Far too long.  In my quest for all things Bobby, I had a quick google yesterday and came across this startling Youtube clip about Bobby’s Onion Rings.

Who is this Bobby loving maverick? This video was posted almost 4 years ago, so how is it only coming to light now?  Is it related to the infamous “Snaxgate” debacle?  His claims that the extra 6 pence generated by Bobby’s generous price-cuts will cut through the material in his cheap Asda jeans seems frivolous at best.  Isn’t he taking Bobby and his snacks seriously?? And why claim that Bobby’s helpers won’t respond to his e-mails when they are clearly the most kind, wonderful people in Christendom? It all smells a bit fishy to me.  And I don’t mean the delicious smell given off by Bobby’s Prawn Cocktail Spirals.

If anyone can shed any light on the origins of this video then I’d be eternally grateful.

 

 

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MBM – Sorry & Yorkshire Tea

It’s another MBM double, you lucky, lucky idiots…

No.

Sorry.

Every ounce of creativity has been stolen from my soul.

Sometimes, I just don’t have anything to offer.

Q.  How can anyone in their right minds like Yorkshire Tea?

A.  They can’t.

In fairness, the Yorkshire Tea wasn’t quite as bad as I had anticipated.   It doesn’t seem to taste of soil any more.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

 

Gig 29: Beat The Frog @ Frog & Bucket, Manchester – 23rd January 2012

PRE-GIG:  I thought I’d write a few thoughts prior to this gig since I’m not sure how I feel about it and my opinion is likely to change drastically depending on now it goes.

The last time that I tried a gong show was at Beat The Frog in Preston, way back at the end of September (Gig 12). It didn’t go well; out of 8 acts, 6 lasted the full five minutes, one lasted 3:40 and I lasted 2:09. In retrospect, there were lots of reasons why I didn’t do well: it was only my twelfth gig, I hadn’t done a straight stand up gig for two months and I was completely taken aback by the size of the venue and the brightness of the lights on stage. Oh, and I performed 3 jokes about Dragons’ Den where the joke was that the jokes weren’t very funny.  Not the wisest choice of material under the circumstances.

So, I’ve decided to give it another go, and, even ignoring now badly it went last time, I’m more than a little concerned about it. The conflict with the gong show is that you want to always want to stick to your ‘artistic vision’ (just to make me sound like a complete wanker), but there’s the pressure of having to change it in order to meet the instant approval required.  It’s only natural that you really want to last the distance, so what do you do?

I’ve decided to try and stick to my own style, but have cut out anything too obtuse, especially at the beginning of the set. It will be interesting to see if my increase in experience and confidence as a performer will bear fruit or whether the pressure will get to me.

I genuinely have no idea how I’ll do, so I guess there’s only one way to find out.

POST-GIG:  Let’s cut to the chase, I ‘beat the frog’ and lasted the full five minutes, I got one card (out of 3) held up and I didn’t win the contest.  I’m more than happy with how it turned out.

My set list was essentially the same as Gig 25, only I changed the opening joke for my “stretched cat” one.  I managed to get as far as “Scooby Doo” before my time was up.  While I was undoubtedly nervous, I was also looking forward to giving it a go, and the difference in confidence and stage presence to my previous attempt was like night and day.  The opening joke went down well – I was getting laughs just from how I approached the set-up and was confident enough to take my time with it – and most of the stuff went down well from there.  I was even able to throw in a few of the elusive ad-libs that I’ve been searching for.

The point where I got a card against me was at the “Controversial-Incomplete Joke”.  I’ve done this bit since Gig 2 and I’m very fond of it, even if it doesn’t get that much of a laugh (seeing that sentence written down, does make me wonder why I’ve stuck with it for so long).  I set the “joke” up by saying that it is controversial, but incomplete and I fully deliver on that promise (well, the incomplete part, at least).  I think it’s really funny to leave it unresolved (that’s the actual joke, in my mind), but I was aware enough to know that I should have a way of addressing it for a gong show.  I did this by then pointing out that I knew it wasn’t funny (that bit was ad-libbed) and then telling them the way that several people had suggested I could resolve it (this bit was planned) – 3 separate people have genuinely suggested the same tag line to me – and this got a big laugh.  Although, I’d prefer to leave it unresolved, this experience has made me think about how it could be tweaked, so that I can keep it.

Although it would have been nice to win (since it secures you an 8-minute non-gong spot), I’m really pleased to have done the full five minutes.  At least I know now that I can do it, so that if I try something in the future that gets me gonged off then I won’t feel so bad about it.

Gig 28: Spotlight @ The Storey, Lancaster – 20th January 2012

 

 

 

Ste Price was born in 1975. Yes, I know, it’s really hard to believe that he’s that old, but he is. Get over it.

 

Despite showing a flair for acting daft at an early age (he once pretended to be a Russian on the play area of a Hoseasons’ holiday park, aged 9).  It wasn’t until 2011 that he decided to perform in any sort of official capacity.  Since that decision (the one about performing in some form of official capacity), he has tried his hand (and the rest of his body) at stand up, character comedy, improv, poetry, short plays and erotic fiction.  There’s literally no limit to the number of ways that he can adequately convey material.

 

He is very much looking forward to performing some jumble of the above at the January’s Spotlight.

 

P.S. ‘He’ is really ‘me’.  It’s ‘me’ writing this, but I’m pretending to be, like, a journalist or something.

After performing at the open-mic at November’s Spotlight (Gig 20), I was kindly asked to return for a guest spot.  As the evening isn’t a comedy night – it encompasses any performed writing and music – it was the perfect opportunity to try some material that was a bit different.  Primarily, I took some of the blog posts from The World of Sherby57 and decided to see if they would work in front of an audience.

My set list was:

1) A joke (“stretched cat”) following by the return of the Joke Book.  I mixed this bit up by numbering each joke in the book and asking the audience for a number to randomise which joke they got.

2) 2 Poems:  A limerick and a political piece.

3) An “essay” called “Times and Trains – An Essay”

4) An “essay” describing my sense of humour.

5) An extract from my, allegedly, upcoming autobiography.

6) A short play: “One Day in Liverpool”.  This was performed as per Gig 26.

Because I was covering a variety of different types of writing, I tied the act together under the mock-pretentious banner of “An Odyssey\Journey Through The Arts”, and this allowed me to assume a strong on-stage persona.

Only my opening gag and the play were performed off-paper meaning there wasn’t that much for me to remember.  Combined with the audience not being there for comedy, this seemed to take a lot of pressure off and I could really get into the material and mess around with it.  A lot of the laughs I got came from completely off-the-cuff asides, and this is something I’ve really wanting to do more of (as I said in my write up of Gig 25).

I was really pleased with how it all went – apart from the essay about my sense of humour, which got nothing – and it was probably the most confident and relaxed that I’ve been on stage.  I know need to think of a way for me to translate this freedom onto my straight stand up sets, as I think it would really mark a big improvement in my performances.

Hopefully I’ll be asked to perform at Spotlight again soon as my mind is reeling with what sort of nonsense I can try next.

You can find out more about Spotlight, here.

 

Gig 27: Comedy Balloon @ The Ape and Apple, Manchester – 18th January 2012

Although I hadn’t performed at the Comedy Balloon since October (Gig 14), I had already done several bits (“Luke, I am Yor Father”\Arnie\Controversial-Incomplete Joke) on all my previous gigs there.  As such, I thought it was only right to ditch them and try something new.  As luck would have it, I had some new things to try.

My planned set was:

1) New bit about Roy Walker’s autobiography.  I was originally going to open with this at Gig 25, but I decided against it as it seemed a little too obtuse to try out on that particular night.  It basically consists of me telling a long (90 seconds-ish) jokeless, serious story before capping off with a fairly lame punchline.  This kind of material is, somewhat unfortunately, the type of stuff that I find funniest.  I had a burning desire to give it a try, even though there was a good chance it wouldn’t work at all.  I had to get it out of my system, if nothing else.

2) My “personal bit”.  This is about 3 minutes of stuff that generally goes down well.  The stuff I had planned next, follows on directly on from this, and it seemed a good idea to stick something in that usually works.

3) A new section that I’m going to call “personal bit 2″.  This material came from several sources.  Firstly, there are a few things that I say in “personal bit” that I thought might be funny to address in a “meta” way.  I then had a couple of relationships things.  The first of these was just a random note that I had jotted down.  The other bit was inspired by the warm-up improvisation that I performed in Gig 22.  I felt happy enough with how all this hung together, but, as always with new material, I wasn’t really sure whether or not it was punchy enough.

As this gig came just a few days after the last one (Gig 26) – which was also new stuff – I’d had to practice the material in parallel.  The advantage of doing a chunk of material on a theme – rather than some of the more random stuff I do – is that it does make it easier to remember.  I do find it really important, though, to run through it as many times as possible in order to get the wording as tight as possible, and to hopefully generate additional toppers to jokes.

There was a fairly small audience (I think I counted 13, not including the other acts), but it was enough to continue.  I was on third and, from the two acts on before me, it seemed that although the audience were enjoying it and appreciative, they weren’t making a huge amount of noise.  So, when it came to my performance, although I got a reaction, and definitely didn’t die, I wasn’t fully able to judge which bits really worked and which didn’t.  This isn’t an attempt to blame the audience,  just a symptom of my lack of experience.

As a whole, I was happy with how it went. I enjoyed doing the Roy Walker stuff and was able to get a laugh out of it (mainly by highlighting the ridiculousness of it).  I’d like to try it again, but might possibly change where I put it in the set.  The “personal bit 2″ stuff seemed to work sufficiently well and it at least felt like it was stand up material (I’ve done stuff in the past where it’s apparent that it’s not going to work when you actually perform it in front of people).  I look forward to trying it again and hopefully gauging where it can be improved.

All in all, it was a fun night.  Yes, this is a really lame way of ending it, but that’s all I’ve got.

 

 

Gig 26: SAS Comedy @ Lass O’ Gowrie, Manchester – 14th January 2012

S.A.S. Comedy is my favourite night of the month (as an act and as an audience member), so it was nice to be back after missing the last two.  What wasn’t so nice were the nerves that I had prior to unleashing new character Simeon Gold (The One Man Theatre Company) on the world.

The basis of the material was some of the short plays that I originally performed at Magical Animals (Gig 6 & Gig 11) and which have cropped up in a few straight stand up sets.  They’ve usually gone down OK, but in the past I’ve just read them out, so it was a bit of a leap to base an entire act on them in which I’d be acting them out as an idiot.  The character of Simeon Gold was quite OTT, and so the performance was crucial.  My worry was that if the audience didn’t go for the first few minutes thenI might lose confidence in the persona. Being a character act, it’s not like I could just switch to a different type of joke, like you might be able to (if you’re competent enough) with straight stand up.

Luckily, the audience did go for it and I was able to relax into it once the first laugh was out of the way.  The beauty of the “plays” is that they’re supposed to be a bit rubbish, so it does give some scope for messing about with them and improvising around the ideas.   To be honest, it couldn’t have gone much better.  Which, you know, was quite nice.

If you like daft comedy, then S.A.S. is definitely the night for you, and is a bargain at just £3.  Get involved, you won’t regret it.

P.s.

In fairness, you might regret it if you don’t like daft comedy, but it’s only £3, so give it a try anyway.

 

Gig 25: The Best of Open for Laughs @ Bar 1:22, Huddersfield – 7th January 2012

The Scooby-Doo Show

Image via Wikipedia

Not only was this was my first gig of the year, it was the first “proper” stand up gig I’d done since the end of November (Gig 21). With such a long gap, I wanted to make sure I was well prepared and had my set list worked out well in advance.

As this was “The Best of Open for Laughs” (people who had done well at the regular Open for Laughs), I wanted to find a balance between doing stuff that I know works and not doing the exact same set that I’d performed at the venue last time (Gig 18).  After reviewing the material that I wanted to do, I knew I’d have to drop the “Joke Book” section, which I love doing, but it would be interesting to not fall back on it.

I only managed to do a timed run through on the day of the gig, so had to drop one of my “short plays” at the last minute, so the running order was:

1. New joke about “being sat at a desk..” (It’s not actually about that, but I don’t want to ‘ruin’ it).

2. My “this really shifty looking bloke came up to me and pointed at my wrist…” bit (previously know as “the joke that unjusticely got me gonged off at Beat The Frog” (Gig 12))

3. The “Can’t Fight The Moonlight” bit. Only previously done at Gig 14.

4. My “Luke, I am Yor Father” bit, also last seen at Gig 14.

5. The “Arnie\Controversial-Incomplete Joke” bits that have been in pretty much all my straight stand up sets,

6. “Which 3 Foods would you take on a desert island?” – I think I’ve only done this previously at Gig 5.

7. The Scooby Doo bit – previously thrown into Gig 21.

8. My “Personal” bit – this was pretty much the same as usual but with a new tag line thrown in.

Although my practices had gone well in the week, I seemed to be making a lot of unprecedented and inexplicable mistakes on my Saturday afternoon run-throughs.  I think this helped to set in a bit panic and I was the most nervous that I’d been for a long time.  Put it this way, I had soup for tea. On a Saturday.  I know, I know.

As usual, by the time I got to the venue I felt there was no way I could possibly remember my material.  Luckily, also as usual, I actually did remember it.  It all seemed to go pretty well and it was a nice return to the stage.  I feel slightly awkward talking about how it went – I’m not sure why – but I was pretty pleased with my delivery and my pacing.  If I had to pick an area where I’d like to improve, it would be to be able to play around with the material a bit more.

Bah, I’m getting a bit bored of writing this now.  See you later.

MBM – New Year Double

To usher in the new year, I proudly bring you two – yes, two! – milk bottle labels.  Enjoy…

2 Unlimited rule OK 4EVA

I literally can’t believe this is happening to me.

This label perfectly sums up my feelings on returning to work after the Yuletide Winter Festival period.  I’m sure you feel the same.  And, if you don’t feel the same then I actually hate you.

All the best!

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

TGB 30\Gig 24b: Dr Brian Sox on BBC Radio Leeds – 2nd January 2012

What better way to usher in the New Year than another strange quiz on the radio?  Well, I’m sure you could think of a better way, but I can’t.

I didn’t have much notice prior to this radio appearance, and I was back at work the next day, so it took all my might to create “hilarious” comedy character Dr Brian Sox (senior lecturer in quizzes at the prestigious Torben Piechnik Institute).  As always, the show was hosted by the wonderful Vic McGlynn and this time we produced perhaps the oddest segment ever.  So much so, that one listener text in to say how bad it was.  How proud I was.

Anyway, have a listen for yourself and find out just how awful radio quizzes can be.

You can listen to it on iTunes here: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=340803894

Or, if you prefer, you can just listen to it here:

http://thegravyboat.podbean.com/2012/01/04/the-gravy-boat-30-dr-brian-sox/

Or, if like me, you have got rid of your iPhone and have realised how great Google Reader\Listen is, the RSS feed is:

http://thegravyboat.podbean.com/feed/

 

 

MBM of the Year 2011

Wow.

This year’s MBM of The Year was a truly exciting event. There were 8, yes 8 votes cast in, what some people are calling, the poll to end all polls.  Incredibly, only 3 of those votes were me, so many thanks to the actual 5 of you that took the time to participate.

Without further ado, the winner is:

Peppercorn!!!

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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