How to Avoid Not Blogging

September 9, 2010 by sherby57 Leave a Comment

The thing that I’m avoiding is not blogging, which is admittedly quite a weird thing to avoid.

I try and write as much a possible, mainly because I’m scared that if I don’t post regular updates then I’ll get out of the habit and my blogs will crumble into (metaphorical) dust. I’ve had a bit of a busy couple of weeks, so I’ve not had as much time or mental energy for writing as I usually do. When this happens it generally leads to lots of posts explaining why I haven’t blogged much. Technically this counts, but it doesn’t exactly make for compelling reading.

In an attempt to inspire myself, I’ve had a look through Plinky and this was the first prompt that I saw that I felt I could answer. Some of them seem almost impossible (for me) to answer. Recent ones include “Name a children’s book every child should read” and “Describe a time when you had deja vu”. I don’t have answers for that sort of thing. They’re just not my forte.

Sometimes I can generate a spoof answer for them and post them on The World of Sherby57, but that wouldn’t really work on PSGOM. I’ll just keep trawling through Plinky prompts and hope that I can continue to avoid not blogging.

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Blog Without Blogging

September 8, 2010 by sherby57 Leave a Comment

What do you do when you don’t have time to blog properly, you’re tired and you’ve got nothing you want to write about?

This. You do this.

It’s pretty easy. You just open up the WordPress app on your iPhone and you just start typing. It doesn’t really matter what you write about. Any old sentence will do.

It can be useful to start with some kind of statement about your current lack of inspiration (check paragraph one), then you can just say what you’re doing. If you’re feeling particularly frisky, you can then go on to explain that you did the other two things.

You’ll soon find that you’ve done 3 paragraphs and a blog post is well and truly on its way.

Critics will point out the complete lack of meaningful content, but don’t listen to them. This is blogging. It’s often better if your posts are as meaningless as possible. It all just adds to the rich fabric of the internet.

If I wanted to I could just stop now. I’ve not written loads but it’s enough. Another option is for me to carry on. Maybe I’ll do that. Maybe I won’t. I’ve not decided yet. It all depends on whether or not I can be bothered thinking of something to spin this out for a bit longer.

I’ve decided. I’m going to stop. But don’t feel sad, just take a look. I’ve done a blog post.

Job done.

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My 10 Best Qualities

September 6, 2010 by sherby57 5 Comments

Plinky wanted to know my best 10 qualities and I felt it was my duty to share them with the world.

Gorgeous
This is just the way that nature created me. In some ways, I shouldn’t claim it as a ‘best quality’ because it was really out of my control.

Brainiac
Again, this is just a consequence of the genetic lottery, but I’ve expanded my vast intellect with an array of challenging challenges. For example, I read many publications of the highest quality (eg Daily Star) and complete puzzles like out of one of them puzzle books.

Heroic
I’ve a habit of saving the day, even when the day didn’t need saving.

Handsome
This is similar to gorgeous, only more masculine.

Dancing
I’ve had no formal training, but I have a natural sense of rhythm that transcends genre. When I ‘bust my moves’ there’s a chance that the room becomes so erotically-charged that all electrical equipment will cease to function.

Hilarious
You want evidence?

Knock Knock

(Who’s there?)

Doctor

(Doctor who?)

You just said it!!

See?

Sexy
It’s not just my dancing that sends waves of erotically-charged particles through the women (and men) of the world like a form of sexy radiation. I only need to do a semi-pout for knees to become so weak that they couldn’t support the body of a flea.

Leadership
I don’t really need to explain this one. You all worship me already.

Daring
I like to push the envelope so much that it’s gone straight into the post box and is already waiting for delivery. He who dares wins. I win.

Modest
Ahem…..

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Boring Blog Stats – August 2010

September 5, 2010 by sherby57 Leave a Comment

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat.  I just think that somebody should have a word.  Heart disease is one of the biggest killers for geese and it really needs to look after itself better.

Like the suns follows the moon, or a monkey follows a microlight, it’s time once again for the boringest of blog statistics.  So sit back, take off your crop tops and relax.   It’s OK, it’s Friday.  Don’t worry about a thing.

In July,  the figures were:

The World of Sherby57 – Total hits = = 718, average hits per day = 23.2

Pour Some Gravy On Me – Total hits = 922, average hits per day = 29.7

In August, they were:

Sherby57 – Total hits = 751, average hits per day = 24.2

PSGOM – Total hits = 969, average hits per day = 31.3

Top Posts for the Month

Sherby57 -

Home Page – 253 hits

Genetic Engineering – Has it gone too far? – 86 hits

A Hilarious A-Team Joke – 56 hits

Geordie Jokes – 30 hits

PSGOM -

Home Page – 405 hits

Navmii on iPhone Review – 57 hits  - It looks like writing about an actual topic that people are interested in reading about might be the way to get hits.  Who would have thought it?

Rick Vocar: Rock Vicar – 48 hits – OK, well this isn’t a post about something that people might be interested in reading about.  It’s a photo of me dressed as a funky vicar.  Any theories on why this proved so popular?

Blackburn Rovers 3 Norwich 1 – 42 hits – Ah, another post about something.  Perhaps the theory holds some water after all.

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MBM – Nothing Left To Say

September 1, 2010 by sherby57 6 Comments

There is nothing left to say…except everything that hasn’t been said yet, of course.

Ahhhhh.  I tricked you, didn’t I?  You were all like, “Oh god, he’s like all depressed and he’s got totally zip to say about squat.”  And then, I was all like “Uh-uh, girlfriend, you better twist you preconceptions right around because I’m actually saying the opposite.”

In truth, there are almost too many things to say.  That’s why I’m generally silent.  I’m holding back the tide, but ultimately I’m just a modern-day verbal King Canute.  One day, some unfortunate fool is going to be on the end of a verbal barrage of ideas and notions so revolutionary that the universe might just crack like an egg.  Luckily for the fool, he really likes eggs.

If you don’t know what the Milk Bottle Manifesto is about, then please click here.

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Post Recycling – August 2009

August 31, 2010 by sherby57 Leave a Comment

Last month I gave the impression that writing Post Recycling was a chore and that I was happy there were only 4 posts to review as it would make my life easier.  I do realise that this makes me sound a bit mental, as if I’m only continuing to write this feature because I’m somehow forced to.

I do enjoy PR because it’s interesting to look back over stuff that you wrote a while ago and to see what you were up to, what your state of mind was and how your writing has developed (or hasn’t developed).  The only downside is that it’s quite time consuming (to do it properly) and I’m very lazy.  They’re not ideal bedfellows.  Anyway, that’s my excuses out of the way and it’s time to look back at what I was writing about last August.

In Icke, I talk about an interview I stumbled across on TV with David Icke.  I try and be a bit clever and draw parallels with Icke’s nonsense and religion, but I’m not really good at that sort of stuff. I’m better when I stick to crap jokes.

I wrote quite a lot about Liverpool FC this month.  It’s not surprising as you were still able to be optimistic about the Reds this time last year.  Strangely, though, my first football post, Season’s Greetings, starts with me stating how apathetic I was feeling toward the impending season.  This makes me feel a bit better about being indifferent later on in the season when we were doing crap. I also point out that Arbeloa would be a loss for the Reds’ squad and I don’t think this has been picked up on enough by the media.

My next football post, Piss Poor Punditry, slags off the press for writing off Liverpool’s chances.  I can only apologise to them for my idiocy.  I clearly know nothing about the beautiful game.  That said, I think a lot of the points are valid.  Maybe the pundits just got lucky in predicting Liverpool’s demise.  Anyway, I do redeem myself somewhat by pointing out the Football Fan Hypocrisy.

I mention the post Gone West (Wing) only because it’s quite long and so it’s worth a re-read.  It’s my thoughts on The West Wing after watching the final ever episode, but I also manage to slag off Star Trek: The Next Generation in the same post, which really seems quite a feat.

Remember when I actually used to read books?  So do I (just about).  This month saw me write the post Reading Habits – An Introduction in which I explain the rules I employed when selecting books to read.  Yes, I really did have a set of rules. I know. I’m a loser.

Ah, happy memories as I share some of my photos of Wire @ Wembley (Warrington Wolves winning last year’s rugby league challenge cup).  I ended the post hoping that it wouldn’t be another 20 years until we got to Wembley again.  Well, my dreams came true and we also went this weekend.. and we won again!  I also published some photos of the Warrington Wolves Homecoming.  I went to this year’s homecoming too, but I didn’t take any photos as they would have been identical.  Just look at last year’s and use your imagination.

And that’s all I have to say about August 2009.  If you’d like to read all the posts then click here.

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1001st

August 30, 2010 by sherby57 6 Comments

I’ve just checked the dashboards of my two blogs.  Pour Some Gravy On Me has 466 posts.  The World of Sherby57 has 534 posts.  For those of you who are mathematically challenged, this adds up for 1000 posts.

1000!

A thousand!

I can’t believe that I’ve reached such a mammoth milestone in my blogging career.  It’s literally blown my mind.  Well, not literally.  If my mind had truly blown then I wouldn’t be able to type this.

Anyway, that’s an awful lot of nonsense that I’ve spouted over the last 3 and a bit years.  I’d like to thank anybody who has visited any of my 1000 (yes, a thousand!) posts over this period.  Special thanks must go to Dr Angel for being the only person who’d ever visit TWoS57 and essentially kept me going in this blogging lark.  I’d even like to thank all those people that have inadvertently visited my blogs while searching for something pervy.  This must account for about 90% of my hits, so it would be churlish to exclude them.

As much as I’d like to keep this positive, I just have to take a moment to chastise all of you who have never visited either of my blogs.  You know who you are and I think your attitude stinks.  With 1000 nuggets of entertainment to choose from, you’ve got no right in not visiting at least once.  You’re so so fucking selfish.  You always have been, and you always will be.  Unless you visit at some point in the future, in which case  I’ll take it back.  If this is your first visit to my blogs then that’s quite spooky and I think you’re very special.

If you were to say that the average length of a post is 100 words (and this is surely a conservative estimate), then this is the equivalent of 100,000 words.  If I had any brains I would have written 100,000 words of  best selling novel instead.  We’ve already established that I do have brains, though, so that doesn’t make any sense.

I guess the next big target is to have completed 1000 posts on each blog.  By that stage, you really will have no excuse for having never visited.  Make sure that you have, or there’ll be trouble.

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Wire @ Wembley 2

August 29, 2010 by sherby57 1 Comment

Last August, Warrington “The Wire” Wolves went to Wembley and won the Carnegie Challenge Cup.  I went.  It was ace.  I wrote about it here.  Everybody made the most of the occasion; after all, you never know if you’re ever going to get to Wembley again, let alone if you’re  ever  going to win the bloody thing if you do.

Ah.  We needn’t had worried, as we went back and won it this year too.  It was ace again.

This year’s opponents were the Leeds Rhinos, the current Super League champions, who should have provided a much tougher challenge than the Huddersfield Giants last year.  The game was too close to call beforehand, but I had a suspicion that Leeds were going to sneak it.  We’d been beaten by them in the two league fixtures this season, and I felt that this gave them the psychological edge.  Luckily, I was wrong.

Warrington won the match 30-6, a far more comfortable scoreline than it ever would have been sensible to imagine.  The Wire played about as well as the fans could have ever have hoped for.  The defence was absolutely ferocious and they managed to hold up several tries from over the line.  It was from this foundation that the victory was built.  Lee Briers played his Little General role to perfection and his kicking game destroyed Leeds.  It was as a deserved win as the score suggests and was a real shot in the arm for the players in preparation for the Super League play-offs.  After this match, we don’t need to be scared of anybody.

I managed to take a few photos to mark the occasion, so I’ll share some of them with you now.  You lucky people.

This is the first glimpse of Wembley from the London Underground.  Yes, I also noticed that the underground train is above ground.  Those cockneys are just so crazy.

This is some weird bloke banging on about Jesus or God or some of that nonsense.  You can tell by the fact that nobody is listening to him that rugby league folk are far too sensible to fall for any of that rubbish (well, that’s my interpretation).

It’s nice to see that Wembley have named the fast food stands after the antics of the England football team.

This is me at Wembley.  Don’t I look lovely?  My mum kept pestering me about getting some kind of Warrington top to wear for the day, but you can see that I resisted.  Ultimately, my decision was justified as we won.

Warrington’s programme of genetic engineering experiments are finally starting to pay dividends…

There were loads of people in fancy dress yesterday, including this group dressed as 101 Dalmatians.  It was very amusing, but can anybody explain the relevance?  Part of me hopes that there was no relevance as this would just make it funnier.

Luckily, I left all my weapons at home this year.

This is the view from my seat.  You can also see the “opening ceremony” based on big balloons.  It wasn’t quite up to the standard of the Beijing Olympics.  It was as ill-coordinated and un-showbiz as you could possibly imagine, but somehow that made it just perfect.  One of the balloons popped and it got a big cheer.  I love that we live in a country full of piss-taking bastards.  Around this time, somebody threw a paper plane from just behind us and it got all the way to the middle of the pitch.  It was incredibly impressive.

I thought I’d be artistic and take a photo of what was behind me.  Nobody takes a photo of what is behind them at a stadium.  Having done it, I now realise why they don’t.

Don’t worry, the fire on the pitch is symbolic of Warrington’s victory and not a terrorist plot\hideous accident.  It’s also symbolic of the end of this post.  I don’t want to tempt fate but I’ll see you all next year!

You can see the rest of my photos, here.

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On the M1

August 27, 2010 by sherby57 Leave a Comment

I’m headed down the M1. It’s a motorway. I’m fed up. You’ll be pleased to know that I’m not the one driving.

I’m with my mate on the way to Harrow. We’re staying there tonight in preparation for watching the mighty Wire (Warrington Wolves) in rugby league’s Challenge Cup final at Wembley tomorrow.

You didn’t need to know that. I’m just trying to fill the time. It takes bloody ages to get to Harrow. I think it’s because it’s quite a long way away. Who would have thought it? Not me, but I don’t really spend long thinking about these things.

I feel a bit car sick. Typing onto a phone probably isn’t helping, to be honest. Imagine what it would be like if I were to vomit right now. Well, it would be disgusting. It’s obvious.

I’m boring myself now. It’s symptomatic of being bored on the motorway. We’re listening to the traffic news on Radio 2. It’s proving to be something of a highlight.

60.4 miles to go. I think I’d better go too. See you later. Love you all. Lots of kisses. Etc.

P.s. If you’re bored too, leave a comment and we can chat.

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Blackburn Rovers 3 Norwich 1

August 25, 2010 by sherby57 Leave a Comment

Last night I dusted off my “Occasional Norwich City Supporter” romper suit and headed up to Ewood Park to watch the Canaries play Blackburn Rovers in the Carling Cup.  Luckily, we only travelled the 25 miles from Warrington, and I could only admire the dedication of the several hundred Norwich fans that made the trek from Norfolk.  I say “admire”, but part of me thinks they’re bonkers.  Such is the life of a travelling football fan.

Anyway, let’s get the match out of the way.  For the first hour, the teams looked relatively evenly matched in terms of ability.  The big difference seemed to be the clearly noticeable extra pace and power of the Premier League side – best demonstrated in Shaq look-alike Chris Samba.  It made the gulf between the two divisions look as vast as it probably is.  That said, it remained 1-0 until way into the second half and, despite Rovers having some good chances, there remained a possibility that Norwich could have got back into it.  That was until Norwich substituted 3 key players (Martin, Holt and Hoolahan) around 70 minutes in, and the game was Blackburn’s from that point on.  A late consolation goal from Askou made the arduous drive back to Norfolk slightly more palatable for the hardy away fans.

Now, the other stuff.  Ewood Park was a pretty nice stadium, and a good place to watch football.  They’ve also got an impressive big screen that you could have easily have watched telly on (a crucial factor I look for in any stadium).  I sent a few tweets during the build up and was excited to get retweeted by the Football League (the world’s original football league).  I then got a personal welcome tweet from what appears to be Blackburn’s official Twitter account.  It was a nice touch, whether they were official or not.  Perhaps the most mind-blowing aspect of the evening was Rovers’s snack-bar.  They had a meal deal that featured “double chips”.  It really makes you proud to be from the North West when you see phrases like double chips.  The pride made me shed a single, fatty tear.

All in all, it was a great evening.  It’s actually surprising how much you enjoy a live football match when you’re not emotionally attached to either club (which was even more pleasant following Liverpool’s drubbing on Monday).  I heartily recommend going to watch whatever football clubs play in your area, especially if they’re not in the Premier League.

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